QB Rating: What Car Would Your QB Be?

Jared Allen car
Not a QB, but Jared Allen earned mention.

DETROIT, MI– While fuel prices are falling closer to a reasonable level, the NFL season has kicked into full throttle. QB’s are like cars and trucks. Some have flash and performance, while others prove not very dependable.

With that, I began comparing some NFL Quarterbacks to various automobiles and here is my list of comparisons.

Cheesehead Yellow
Cheesehead Yellow

Aaron Rodgers: Corvette. Built for speed with superior handling on the ground. Rodgers can also switch into that 6th gear that most QB envy. He can take a score from zero to sixty in seconds going over the top to Jordy Nelson. Nobody is better.

Tom Brady: BMW M6 Gran Coupe. Brady is like a finely appointed machine with intuitive features – like Active Blindside Detection and side and top view cameras. His engineering of a drive has proven able to exploit opponents with those extra high tech accouterments that the other models long to have. At about 116k base price, you will still get value for your money.

Peyton Manning: Porsche Cayenne Turbo. While my SUV reference of Manning may not seem to be as exciting as Rodgers and Brady, his game reminds me of a finely designed vehicle with the ability to see the road and even park itself. Manning can read a defense and audible (Omaha) better than anyone. He still however needs to take all that technology and win another ring before his sales equal the competition. Beware of him in TURBO mode, as he can score fast and often.

Drew Brees: Lincoln Navigator. Sure, he may be in the shop for repairs lately, but Brees offers that workman like versatility. Pick up some stuff at the local Lowes and do-it-yourself, as he does on the field in four-wheel drive. He can take a hit without losing traction while driving comfortably under pressure. Utilitarian with lots of options.

Built Ford Tough
Built Ford Tough

Tony Romo: Jaguar XK. Like this car, the price tag has not proven to give the user bang for the buck. While Romo gives you glimpses of greatness, he breaks down when you need him to pass that next car. Make sure you purchase that extended service contract on this guy, cause you will need it. And since you will owe more than he is worth, a trade in will cost way too much. He also does not handle winter weather very well.

Ben Roethlisberger: Ford F350 Dually Diesel. Big Ben is like a big durable 4×4. Able to pull a ton of weight, plow through snow and carry his team. He is a monster with a big grill and double walled construction. He will last longer than most QB’s on the field despite taking big hits…

Chime in with your comparisons and tune in tomorrow for our version of the new TESLA, Angry Ward!

P.s… NY Rangers fans lend me your ears…..Klein lends part of his and then blasts in the winner in OT to beat the Penguins !

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About GrindingAx 135 Articles
"Grinding Ax" Walter Hynes (GAW) comes from the same Sports Royalty bloodlines as Short Matt... He's heaving hatchets off the heads of any deserving Sports Personalities... His favorite teams are the NY Rangers, Detroit Tigers, Dallas Cowboys, NY Jets and Manchester United... A suburban husband and father of two, Walter understands what it takes to be a second-guessing, sideline-heckling parent and coach.