El BARIO, EL BRONX – My Brother semi-automatic typewriter has been on the “fritz” for some time. So I made my way to one of those “internet cafes” – you know, the ones that are so popular with the jihadist’s circles these days. I made sure my answering machine was on, remembered this time to bring my “beeper” and headed out to use one of those personal computers that Matt is always talking about.
The Chai Latte was divine as I considered my potential column ideas. I could make audacious claims that will never come true like DJ Eberle. Or maybe a great op-ed piece filled with truth, like Al “the Truth” Sternberg. I could do a great dedication piece to my dad as Angry Ward did, or add some political flavor like Short Matt did in his piece this week.
Continuing my-preamble-to-The Constitution-esque tort-uous column intro, I do want to get political for a second. I must recommend that everyone go on YouTube and watch the Republican “debate” from Houston. It was insane WWE-quality yelling and arguing. Great stuff and great entertainment.
https://youtu.be/P3gZLJQ0sIA
I chose the path of Different Matt. Talk about the locals. In the end I chose to be inspired by Diff’s piece, particularly the part about John Tortorella returning to the Garden. It got me thinking about some of the Most Awkward Returns in NYC Sports History (or as long as I have been in ‘Murica).
MLB: For me, it was watching the return of Mets icons in Yankees uniforms. The triumvirate of David Cone, Doc Gooden, and Daryl Strawberry. It was like seeing your uncle in a dress. It is something that still bothers loads of Mets fans. Imagine, you cocky Yankee fans-a still young Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera, and Jorge Posada suddenly wearing the Blue & Orange of the 2015 National League Pennant Winners. Revolting, right?
NBA: This was a simple one. The return of Patrick Ewing to the Garden in a Seattle Supersonics jersey. It was just weird. Straight outta Bizarro world. Ewing was one of the few players that should have retired as a lifelong Knick.
NFL: As a Jets fan, it should be Keyshawn Johnson, but the Jets played against him on the road in Tampa, so the winner has to be Chad Pennington. Seeing Pennington in a Dolphins jersey was not right. Jets fans liked but never loved Pennington. But no one wanted him to go play for the hated Fish.
NHL: The return of Torts will be fun but nothing beats the return of Mark Messier in, of all things, a Canucks jersey! Fans threw coins on the ice as they felt Mess had left the Blueshirts for money and money alone. Sports is a business but it still sucked to watch. Any awkward returns stand out for you? Let’s hear them below and as always…
Thanks and come back tomorrow for Cheesy Bruin!
