ATLANTA, GA – The Man Fans Love or Hate, John Rocker, is back in the news for two reasons: A) He’s in a lawsuit surrounding a shady real estate deal (lots of trees in the development) and best of all B) He is backing The Donald Trump. This got us thinking about the meshing politics and sports and then looking ourselves in the looking glass and asking: Are The Donald Trump and John Rocker On Your Team?
Granted, both are capable of ticking off a park full of puppies on a sunny day. Either of them could make Kenny Powers blush. They always say the wrong thing. They talk about themselves as though they are the last men on the planet – or at least the only ones that are worth listening to or watching. And you know what, they are not completely off their #Rocker in thinking that.
Mets fans, name two Atlanta Braves players you didn’t want playing against your Flushing Fenoms. If you didn’t say Chipper Jones and John Rocker, you are being disingenuous... and by no means are we insinuating that you’re like Ted Cruz for that “untruthiness.” (We miss the Comedy Central Colbert, for the record). When Rocker sprinted in from the bullpen, getting pelted with maternal-based expletives of the most untoward slant all the way, it just fed him. You knew your taunts were only going to fire him up. And he won. He beat your boys 99% of the time – after telling the truth about the 7 Train. Admit it. And while you’re admitting that, along with any other baseball fan who has suffered from calamitous bullpen collapses, you must admit you’d want John Rocker in that pen. You need him
on that wall, in that pen!
And what about you fans with abysmal team ownership? The list is long and covers all professional sports. We talked about all of Cleveland last week. The Cowboys? Admit it, Dallas fans, spending money doesn’t mean diddly if the owner is calling all the shots. Jerry Jones will NOT win another Super Bowl. You know why? Because he’s in the draft room. That aside, how many of you would grow a comb-over (see @Angry_Ward in photo) just to have #Trump buy your team? Heck, the Mets were just in the World Series and we’d grow our backhair over our heads just to have The Donald Trump jettison Fred and Jeff Wilpon.
The Donald Trump and John Rocker, you make us feel alive. America thanks you.