Memo To Mets Fans: R-E-L-A-X

Not my ace.

Memo To Mets Fans:
pobJERSEY TURNPIKE – As most of our readers know, I’m a hockey-first fan but when your team sucks, as the Boston Bruins do, having failed to qualify for a second consecutive postseason, my heart is now gladly filled with the New York Mets. I’m making my re-engagement to baseball with a verve not seen for the other major sports. And today, some issues surrounding the Blue & Orange need addressing!

Panic: The panic surrounding the Metsies sluggish 4-6 start, abetted (it’s criminal) by one putrid at-bat after another, was quelled all of one game after a fourteen-hit, six-run outburst against the Cleveland Indians on Friday. But… they followed the effort up with yet another dud on Saturday afternoon, not long after another beleaguered local team wearing blue – the New York Rangers – plugged their leaky ship with a win over the Pittsburgh Penguins.  So rest easy and r-e-l-a-x… it’s a long season!

Not my ace.
Not my ace.

Matt Harvey: Let it be known that I’m not a big Matt Harvey guy. Put up or shut up,” is all I’ll say about the so-called ace of the staff.  I don’t want to hear about the run support he doesn’t receive. Put up more zeroes than usual to give your squad a chance at a “W.”  Four and two-thirds yesterday is a far cry from the seven or eight innings expected of you.  I’ve been a Mets fan for all of two seconds compared to most of you, but gimme Syndergaard or deGrom any two games out of five and I’m happy.

Bartolo Colon: Big Bart, or “the fatness of finesse,” as I like to call him, is a pleasure to watch on the mound. Weather doesn’t matter so much as commentators will have you believe, but the mercury means little to this 250+lbs guy who worries and relies more on location and guile. Bart is a bargain for whatever management is paying him as the #5 starter in the rotation.

Middle Relief:  It sounds like what you run for after the appetizers are served at a Mexican restaurant but if the Mets want to improve the roster somewhere, this would be the place. Far from a Old Dirty Bastard-o, Antonio just doesn’t seem like an effective middle man or does Reed or BlevinsJim Henderson intrigues me but he is a surprise journeyman so far and I don’t think the modest success lasts too long.

100% Cheesy
100% Cheesy

Mets Souvenirs: What is a staple for a new fan to any team to purchase?  A cap, jersey, shirt, or batting helmet?  They don’t call me Cheesy for nothing, as I’ve opted for a 100% polyester black polo shirt with the circular Mets logo on the breast.  In 5-7 business days my baseball metamorphosis is complete when I don the official merchandise from the MLB shop.

Promotion/Giveaway Days: I’m all about value at the ballpark. Did I mention they don’t call me Cheesy for nothing?  When a freebie is being handed out, I’m there. Except for free rag (shirt) Friday.  The “shirts” given away on these dates are made from baby wipes, or so I think.  As a member of the shaven-head club, I’m leaning toward attending bucket hat day or fedora day or de Grom hairhat day – but  all are to the first 15,000 fans, so I don’t know if I can secure these ducats.

Hello? Mets Fans? Can you hear me? RELAX!

Speaking of securing ducats, come back tomorrow for West Coast Craig, who has the Dodgers and Los Angeles Rams in his backyard. L.A. is almost a city now!

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About Cheesy Bruin 491 Articles
A man amongst men. Cheesy Bruin kicked cancer to the curb - twice. The Cheese Man's a big, tough teddy-bear who survived the Bronx despite being an unabashed Boston Bruins fan and Sargent-At-Arms for Angry Ward's Urban Spur Posse. Nuff said. Doctors have taken most of this throat and had to make him a new tongue from thigh-meat (his own) and still he won't shut up about the Bruins, Cowboys, Pirates and Cleveland Cavaliers. And yes, his kids do love him.