Stuck In the Middle With You: Trump as Ryan Leaf, Rex Ryan and Miami Marlins

EL BRONX, EL BARRIO – I got a text last night that said “People are saying that Junior is pinch hitting tomorrow.” For once these alleged people are correct. That’s right, here I am and I am taking this piece into the Land of Politics and I don’t care about the repercussions. With that, my Song of the Week had already been picked to go with today’s topic. After watching this country make a horrible choice for the next president, I decided this would be the focus of my piece: Trump as a Player, Coach and Team in American pro sports.

Let’s begin with the music…

Stuck in the middle with you:  Just because someone comes around at the right time doesn’t make them the right person. But the perfect storm of apathy, idiocy, hate and fear has brought us here. We are stuck with this man. And the clowns and the jokers that elected him will still not understand how they picked a con man who has no interest in their lives.  So I chose Stuck in the Middle With You.

Now for the sports…

Ryan Leaf
Ryan Leaf

Ryan Leaf: If Donald Trump was a pro athlete he would have be Ryan Leaf. I couldn’t think of a player that came into the league with hype only to prove there was no steak to that sizzle. There was this brash confidence and belief that he would be the guy. He was as good as Peyton, much like people think Trump is as good Clinton. Luckily the Colts chose Peyton first which about the only way the two differ. At least Leaf had what looked like the talent on paper, but whatever. Like Chargers fans believing Leaf was going to help take them to the title, those that voted for him will keep hoping after hope he comes good, but he never will.

Rex Ryan: If Donald Trump was a coach, he would be Rex Ryan. I mean Ryan even stumped for Trump so that is not a stretch. Ryan is a blowhard that talks tough but can’t back it up. He can’t understand how an offense works as coach much like Trump can’t understand how government works. He is desperate to be loved so he talks about always loving English shows when the Bills play in London, like Ryan has ever watched the BBC!?! His coaching record is a joke and the one time he did win a trophy it was behind a defense that coached itself.

Miami Marlins: I had to think hard for who Trump would be if he was a sports franchise. The Miami Marlins are the best I can come up with. They are big time liars promising a lot but not following through like getting a new stadium then selling away the players that would make it competitive. The times he has been successful is because of  his dad and stealing from others much like how Miami has won the title. The team is all flash no sizzle and that is who is the next president.

Finally I just want to say, that there were plenty of candidates that addressed the needs of the white working class, but Trump spoke with more hate and anger. As a naturalized citizen, a black man, with a half-mexican wife and newborn daughter, his campaign took aim right at me. Nice to know all the values this country claims to embrace, were just all hype. Hate and fear are the true values of this country. If you got beef, you know where to find me on Twitter. No fake names or avatars. I don’t hide my face.

That’s all I have… Please come back tomorrow for The Man that is everywhere and nowhere, Cheesy Bruin… And feel free to leave your thoughts below and follow us on Twitter – @JunoirBlaber & @MeetTheMatts and like our Facebook page, Meet The Matts.

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About Junoir Blaber 547 Articles
Junoir Blaber is from Ghana but was transplanted to the Bronx as a young lion chaser. Blaber is the Rain Man of Meet The Matts and is a featured contributor on MTM global partner, Rugby Wrap Up. The name "Junoir" is not a cool African name. Instead, Blaber mis-typed "Junoir" on his Facebook page. But proving that two wrongs indeed do make a right, he embraced his new persona - [June-noire]... Manute Bol is his uncle and his teams are the Mets, Jets, Knicks & NY Rangers... And Manchester United. He knows soccer. [Vomit]. P.s... He has webbed toes and came be followed on Twitter here: @JunoirBlaber