Precipice – a very steep rock face or cliff, typically a tall one. Roman adage – “add insult to injury.”
DENVER, CO – I serve you all with this word, as this is the most fitting palabra that I can think of for the Mets season. I server you with this adage as its origin in parable is uniquely fitting for most of our viewership.
Parable of Phaedrus: A bald man who swats at a fly which has just landed on his head, but instead hits himself on the head. The fly comments, “You wished to kill me for a touch. What will you do to yourself since you have added insult to injury?”
For those that haven’t fallen asleep yet here is the connection:
Jeurys Familia had surgery on a blood clot in his shoulder in my home town of St. Louis, MO yesterday. This likely leaves him inactive for the rest of the season. Thus, the Mets and all their fans stand on the precipice of golfing long before October, and I am going to add a plethora of insults to the Mets current injury-laden condition.
First up on the hot seat: Sandy Alderson
Preceding the Wednesday matinee game that Jeurys subsequently blew with his performance, Sandy was told by Jeurys that he had a “tingling finger.” Outside of sitting on your hand for an extended period to gain pleasure during masturbation or sticking your finger in an electrical socket, there are no real reasons to ever have a tingling finger…Who am I to judge, though? Stranger things have happened. Either way, as a pitcher who has been tossed by a negligent coach after expressing medical issues, I can understand the desire and attempt to perform is Familia to me. [Cough, cough] No one wants the ball taken from them.
Second up: Curtis Granderson
This man needs to trade in his walker for a Walk him. Currently batting .139, a walk is the only way this old timer is going to get on base and yet he has played in 32 games. There has to be someone on the farm that can at least get to the Mendoza line.
Third up: Jose Reyes
Similar story to Grand Daddy, Jose is batting .183.. Hose B could probably hit .183. REPLACE HIM. The Mets should be calling up Amed “Tinsel Teeth” Rosario their top prospect in the farm and just make it his job to lose. If your short stop is hitting .183 then there is nothing to lose in benching the former franchise player.
Last on the hot seat – as always with me – is John Elway with my segment of “Things John Elway Would Say”
Vance Joseph to Elway: “John, we need to vet out who our pick is for Mr. Irrelevant.”
Elway to Joseph:. “I thought that title was called head coach around here.”
That’s it… Please bloviate below and check us out on Twitter @MeetTheMatts, @Matt_McCarthy00, Instagram @MeetTheMatts and like our Facebook page, Meet The Matts. And come back tomorrow for a man who eats his palabras often, @CheesyBruin.