LAS VEGAS, NV – I’m writing this edition of Cheesy Bruin’s Free NFL Picks on Thursday for a few reasons… mainly, I’ll be in Sin City with some good fellas celebrating our 50th year on Earth. The other reasons are obvious, since marijuana is legal and there will be a sampling of most “edibles” the dispensary has to offer, along with a bourbon-soaked liver making me less intelligible than normal. Hell, a trip to a cat-house could be in the works. So, the point-spreads might be off a little being early with the picks but you’ll excuse me as I rounded into the form expected of me last week while going 3-1. Stoned, drunk and stupid is the only way to go through this week at the very least. Here are the picks.
FAVORITE: Not too long ago Le’Veon Bell and then teammate Legarette Blount were cited by Pittsburgh police and subsequently suspended by the NFL for a wacky tabacky offense. Throw in the name in the form of wide receiver Martavis Bryant, who has failed his share of drug tests and you coincidentally have the Pittsburgh Steelers as my favorites for the week. They’re coming off a workmanlike win against the previously unbeaten Kansas City Chiefs and face the sluggish Cincinnati Bengals, who may be hung-over from last week’s bye. Ride the wave of momentum with the Steelers at High-nz (see what I did there?) Field. The Pick? PITTSBURGH -5.5 over Cincinnati.
UNDERDOGS: Dogs. Speaking of which, I don’t know what type of animal my Shih Tzu, Biscuit will be when I return from the Vegas trip and pick him up at the boarding “retreat.” For the most part he’s never been second fiddle to another dog, doesn’t like larger canines, and is a lazy sack of sh!t so his handlers will have his/her work cut out. The same can be said about a team who plays in front of fans known as the Dawg Pound. The Cleveland Browns have been fairly uncooperative after I dubbed them an upstart. There has been little sign of them turning around their misfortune since the return to Believeland. I’m loyal as any dog and ain’t jumping ship yet. Getting a healthy amount of points at home is where the heart is today. The Pick? CLEVELAND +7 over Tennessee.
OVER: Hung-over, over-served, over and out like my wallet will probably be after the trip is my best ‘over’ prediction. But I do have to pick a game on this week’s NFL slate. How about the Jets and Fins in South Beach? The Jets are showing signs of offensive life with a down field passing attack and the Dolphins are just plain due to score some points and the number isn’t all too prohibitive. The Pick? Jets/MIAMI OVER 38.5
UNDER: Under the influence is what you might think I am for putting a few bucks on the Knicks in their home opener – they lost – so I can’t collect on that or let it ride on what has been the most profitable selections during these Sunday posts. I think doom is ready to set in for the Colts as Andrew Luck appears nowhere near ready to resume quarterbacking his team. Jacksonville just likes to run the ball in order to take the reins away from their QB Blake Bortles. Add it up and it doesn’t amount to much. Which is good for us today. The Pick? Jacksonville/INDIANAPOLIS UNDER 43.5.
Did I mention that the Yankees choked/lost? No? Seems that the Baby Bummers gagged on their pinstriped pacifiers. Well, there will be plenty of that for a suicidal DJ Eberle to talk about tomorrow. And please follow us on Twitter – @CheesyBruin & @MeetTheMatts, @Matt_McCarthy00, Instagram @MeetTheMatts and like our Facebook page, Meet The Matts.