MARLBORO, NY – This is Pepe Le Pew reporting from the epicenter of the stench that is Cheesy Bruin’s Free NFL Picks here at MTM. Our prognosticator took the Golden Sombrero last week as he whiffed on all four of his selections, dropping the season mark to a miserable 15-21. Enter me, the smelly mammal who is always chasing Penelope around for some love and affection to help with this week’s picks.
FAVORITE You don’t need to be a skunk to realize something smells fishy in today’s game in Green Bay. The Packers need to snap out of their first half funk or they may become fodder for the rest of the NFC North which also hasn’t played up to their press clippings. The Pack is 3-4-1 while their opponent today, the Miami Dolphins, are 5-4. As Bill Parcells used to say, “You are what your record says you are”, and that makes us wonder why the Cheeseheads are very heavy favorites here. Somebody is expecting a blow out and can’t you just see Aaron Rodgers throwing for a gazillion yards and like five touchdowns? The Pick: GREEN BAY -10 over Miami
UNDERDOG Speaking of dogs, the Dallas Cowboys looked just like that in the second half of their Monday Night prime time loss against the Titans last week as they laid down and played dead. 
So here they are again under the Sunday Night lights in Philthydelphia which is Monsieur Le Pew’s favorite vacation spot. With the embarrassment of last week’s 2nd Half “no show” and rumors swirling about Jason Garrett and Dak Prescott, there will be a maximum effort by the ‘Boys. That I am certain of but while it won’t be enough for victory the Lone Star Losers cash our ticket. The Pick: Dallas +7 over PHILADELPHIA
OVER Nobody has quite stunk up the joint like the Oakland Raiders this year. Save for the Buffalo Bills, the Silver & Black are the worst AFC team. They’ve traded their best players on both sides of the ball in Khalil Mack and Amari Cooper while Derek Carr has been a human piñata under center. We’re not asking the Raiders to win or even cover the spread today. We just want them to score some points which has been a tall order recently. The Chargers will get theirs so this is a roll of the dice and a bit of a prayer. The Pick: Chargers/OAKLAND OVER 50
UNDER Raise your hand if you’ll be watching Monday Night Football’s Giants-Niners game? Okay, all five of you put your hands down. There’s no intrigue here outside of this Mullens kid quarterbacking for San Fran. Both teams are done for the year. This has dud written all over it as I’ll be watching hockey all night. The Pick: New York Giants/SAN FRANCISCO UNDER 44.5
That’s it for now, come back tomorrow for a man that has no armpit hair and thinks Todd Frazier is being bullied by umpires, Buddy Diaz.
