Cheesy Saturday: Oral Sect, Alex Ovechkin, and Boeheims

Oral-Roberts, Jim-Boeheim, Elvis, NCAA, Ovechkin, Rangers, Cheesy-Bruin, Meet-The-Matts

Jim Boeheim*NOTE: With Short Matt faffing about in Austin, prepping to call Major League Rugby’s 1st game of the season, and Cheesy Bruin’s column already queued, Karma Kourt Rules mandate they sway days in the rotation.

Cheesy Bruin: Grrrrr!

BLOOMINGBURG, NY – No messing around today (actually tonight as in Friday) as I wait for the side effects of my first dose of the COVID vax to kick in. Will I grow a third nipple? An extra digit or four? If Three Mile Island in picturesque Harrisburg, PA was inhabitable after the spill in the 70’s how bad could this shit be? Thankfully, I have a hook at the local hospital up here to make this possible and I am thankful after seeing the aftermath of the virus.

So, I started with the Rangers/Caps game and switched over to the NCAA Tournament’s opening round when seeing that Oral Roberts University was pushing THEE Ohio State University late in the game. What does it say about the Evangelical sect in funding one of its pastors to the point where an institution of higher learning is named after him (lower case h, of course)? Not to be sacrilegious or anything but am I the only one who gets aroused when hearing about Oral Roberts? I guess you can say the Golden Eagles licked the opponent in the overtime period—ewww, that just got ugly.

After the upset, and I’m sure there’s plenty more because handicapping the seeds during a pandemic is like figuring out who to bet in the ninth race at Belmont in a field of first time starters, I turned back to hockey. The Rangers had the lone goal of the game and stymied the undermanned Caps until about seven minutes left. The greatest goal scorer of his era (16 straight years with 30+ goals) Alex Ovechkin, had zero shots up until this juncture of the contest. The GR8-8 finished the game with two shots, the two goals his team would score and a +2 rating. Game over. Rangers lose. While the Rangers are figuring out how to win, team management will need to address getting a veteran forward in teaching the youngsters about leadership and how to achieve that goal. Now isn’t the time but it will be soon.

The nightcap was JGClancy’s Aztecs of San Diego State against Skull F*** Boeheim (borrowed from Angry Ward’s Oneonta Crew). Now, I don’t follow college hoops like I used to but Jim Boeheim was like sixty years old in the 1980’s, which makes him about 100 today and he has his son on this year’s Syracuse team? You’re telling me Coach Boeheim had relations with a woman who was still ovulating a little over twenty years ago? I don’t know if the math is adding up or if the kid was legally adopted and I just don’t have the energy to look it up. The Aztecs are getting Orange Crushed and I’m blaming bad coaching. Ess Dee couldn’t hit a freaking shot from the outside, so when things were drying up there, go to the inside – which was effective with a guy named Mensah… you don’t need to be a genius in surmising that was the best option.

I’m done. Comment below and if you come back tomorrow for Short Matt McFaffing, after he gets through tonight’s game. You can watch it for free by via this link.

P.s… A WWE Legend, Scotsman, Canadian, Aussie & a New Yorker walk into a room and offer Major League Rugby betting advice?

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About Cheesy Bruin 476 Articles
A man amongst men. Cheesy Bruin kicked cancer to the curb - twice. The Cheese Man's a big, tough teddy-bear who survived the Bronx despite being an unabashed Boston Bruins fan and Sargent-At-Arms for Angry Ward's Urban Spur Posse. Nuff said. Doctors have taken most of this throat and had to make him a new tongue from thigh-meat (his own) and still he won't shut up about the Bruins, Cowboys, Pirates and Cleveland Cavaliers. And yes, his kids do love him.