Angry Ward: Kelenic Finally Connects, Russ Thinks NY Will Cook, and The Polar Bear Lobbies for Punch-Ups

Angry Ward, Russell Wilson, Pete Alonso, Mets, Giants, Ward Calhoun, MLB, NFL, GOOGLE

NEW YORK, NY – So, Major League Baseball’s All Star Game was played this week, and I didn’t cover it. I probably should have, since there’s not much else going on, but I just can’t bring myself to talk about a game I once loved, but is now as pointless as all the other ASGs. So, where does that leave me for this random Wednesday in the middle of July? Let’s find out.

Jarred Kelenic Finally Reaches His Potential. I did find out one interesting baseball factoid during the All Star Break, and that was that Mariners catcher—and MVP candidate—Cal Raleigh got his now famous nickname, The Big Dumper, from former highly-touted Mets prospect Jarred Kelenic. For those of you who don’t remember, Kelenic was supposed to be the key player in the deal that sent Edwin Diaz and Robinson Cano to the Metropolitans. Long story short, he didn’t pan out. He’s currently plying his trade, if you can call it that, in Atlanta, hitting an anemic .167. Still, it’s good to hear that he finally made a positive contribution to the game. Huzzah!

Russell Wilson Thinks New York the Perfect Place for His Next Chapter. So, this was a headline I read and my only question is: Does Russell Wilson really have a “next chapter” in him? I mean, on the football field? Wouldn’t Denver or Pittsburgh eagerly have helped publish that next chapter? I’m having a hard time buying his Annie-like NYC exuberance (that’s a ref for all you musical theater fans out there) from Mr. Wilson. Don’t get me wrong, I still think he has room for a next chapter, but maybe something more like Televangelist or ESPN Opinionated Douche or Social Media Influencer. That last one he could totally pull off in New York. All he needs to do is post a bunch of nonsensical videos on TikTok or Instagram touting the Top 5 Ramen joints or best new pizza place in the city. My kid and I never tire of seeing long lines of clueless tourists waiting to get a mediocre bagel in the East Village. It’s beyond ridiculous what people will believe.

Pete Alonso Thinks Baseball Should Allow Hockey-Style Fights. Ya gotta hand it to the Polar Bear for spicing up All Star Yawnfest by suggesting to assembled press that he thinks MLB should sanction one-on-one NHL-like brawling, especially when it comes to hitters charging the mound after being hit by pitches. Alonso’s argument is that when the dugouts and bullpens empty is when things get out of control and people get hurt. This will never get passed but, if it did, Nolan Ryan would probably still be kicking the holy crap out of Robin Ventura.

Well, that’s about all the fight I’ve got left in me this week. Come back tomorrow for Buddy Diaz, who will almost certainly be throwing an assortment of sports-blogging haymakers.

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About Angry Ward 845 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.