EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ – It was a rough start to the season for the local football squadrons, with the Giants getting waxed and the Jets coughing up a tight one. Well, there goes that. The Packers and Chargers emerged as teams that might be in tier 1 instead of tier 2. Are they legitimate? Speaking of legitimate, was that Danny Jones ripping it up for the Colts? Oy vey, kill me now. And the search continues for “Phillies Karen.” If you see this lunatic, give her whatever she wants.
Pack and Bolts
Sure, it’s only one game, and the Lions might not be as good as last year, but I’m buying in on the Packers. On O, they can run it and have plenty of weapons. And the D shut down Detroit with ease. The 11th hour heist of Micah Parsons might put them over the top into a small group of contenders.
I’m not there yet on the Chargers. The Chiefs had some tough luck early with the Worthy injury, and this one could’ve been a fluke. This team is at least solid, but I need to see more from Herbert & Co.
Dropping Dimes
Hey Giants’ fans, in case you didn’t feel sh!tty enough about your team’s dud on Sunday, Danny Dimes had day, going 22 for 29 for 272 with a passing TD and two running TDs in the shellacking of the Dolphins. I realize that Miami might be a bad team, so let’s not get too carried away.
But, if Jones is a good QB, nothing will make sense. The next thing you know, a Philly fan will behave well, someone from Boston will enunciate, and a fan in LA will stay past the 7th inning. I’m as confused as I was in 11th grade when Jenny Mendlebaum went to prom with Scott Fairbanks, my sworn enemy. Man, was that a kick to the pearls.
Imagine if Daniel Jones and Saquon Barkley won Super Bowls in consecutive years after leaving the Giants? I think that would warrant a public stoning to death of Joe Schoen. I don’t think anyone would object.
Philly Karen at Large
And then there was the “Phillies Karen” who demanded a foul ball from a hapless Dad who had tracked it down and given it to his kid. First off, in what world does a foul ball landing near your seat give you dibs on the ball? It’s fair game, especially if no one is there.
I had a ball ripped away from me at Yankee Stadium when I was 10 years-old by the guy sitting right in front of me. I didn’t bitch about it. I handled like a New Yorker. I “accidentally” dropped a bunch of ketchup packets on his seat when he stood up. Then I “accidentally” dumped my coke on him while cheering a homer. Then I stole his wallet on the way out. That was on purpose.
Second of all, what is wrong with the dad for giving it up so easily? He said he wanted to teach his kids to de-escalate a situation. Well, how about you teach your kids not to roll over to Bully Karens and stand up for themselves?
After being mis-identified twice, she’s still out there. It’s hard to believe that the internet has not tracked her down. Police say she’s dangerous and armed with a giant dose of entitlement.
Woe for the Locals
For Giants fans, it’s the damn O-line again. We can’t blame that one on Russ, who had an average of 2.7 seconds to throw. I can’t even chug a beer that fast. We need to let him play at least one game with Andrew Thomas before we start yelling for Dart.
And for Jets’ fans, at least you can be excited about the offense. This Tanner Engstrand guy may have brought some of the Ben Johnson swagger from Detroit. Fields looked decisive, Breece Hall looked quick, and Wilson looked good. Well, until the last play.
Come back tomorrow for a guy who’s nothing but swagger, Angry Ward.
