CHAVEZ RAVINE, CA – The Major League Baseball season is underway and now that the smoke has begun to clear a bit, we’ve set our sights on several of the more compelling storylines to follow this season. Joe West’s neck has now surpassed the previous record holder – Rep. Jerrold Nadler – for sheer girth. Suzyn Waldman remains fingernails on a chalkboard, and Kevin Burkhart believes he’s bigger than Jesus as he struts indiscriminately around CitiField waiting to be noticed.
Short Matt and I, along with FSA’s intrepid mini- Fake Sandys – sat 2 rows off the Mets dugout for an ugly matinée game against the Nationals last week. The sun was shining, the temps were comfortable and a couple of randy fillies from LA sat next to us-making for some interesting conversation. The conversation was a welcome distraction, given that the Mets’ bullpen did what the Mets’ bullpen does; turning a close game into a laugher. The game was notable as well since it allegedly brought to an end the disgrace of a 3-headed First Base Monster that only the Mets would have opened a season with. Monsieurs Davis, Duda, and Satin each started a game at 1st in the first 3 games of the year…all losses. Not a way to run a team.
After that game, however, Mets “brass” announced that Lucas Duda would be the team’s regular first baseman, at least until he isn’t anymore. What does all of this mean? Well, for starters it means that if you have multiple 1st basemen, then you’ve really got none. Davis and Duda have been with the team for much of the past 4 seasons-3,000 At-bats between them. Still, Real Sandy Alderson, the Sommeliere, the Actuary, the undertaker, (apologies to the Dead Man) has been unable to make a firm decision on this-or really anything. The one constant that remains unchanged (other than habitual lying to the fans) during this pock-marked disgusting period in Met history, has been Real Sandy’s baffling inability to make a decision and stick with it regardless of outcome. He runs this franchise with no conviction, no passion and really-no leadership qualities whatsoever. Paralyzed by fear, he consistently defers making decisions lest he make the wrong one. This is no way to run a team, let alone a company, a family, or a fake reputation built on false attribution of a track record.
As Ronald Reagan famously asked in 1980: “Are we better off today than we were 4 years ago?” The rest of the world is finally coming around to the thinking that hey…“hasn’t it already been 4 years with this fraud and we’re no better than we were 4 years ago? Maybe this old guy really is a stooge with no baseball acumen?” FSA has been insisting as much for at least the past 3 years, and I now welcome the bandwagon jumpers late to the party.
CC Sabathia is neither an Ace, or even a #2 Starter at this point in his career. We’ve been hearing that CC is in the midst of that critical juncture in a “maturing” hurler’s career when he must re-invent himself with diminished velocity. The transformation from “thrower to pitcher” that some aging pitchers have been able to pull off by mixing in off-speed pitches and being crafty and hitting spots and changing eye level, etc has been mentioned as critical for CC to remain a stud. It’s now at least a year and a half since CC was dominating, and could be counted upon as workhorse true #1 starter who can anchor a contender’s rotation. The diminished stuff has been noticeable and has to be alarming for Joe Girardi. We’ll see how he holds up this Summer, but it’s not looking promising for the once-great; once uber-reliable Sabathia as he becomes more #3ish as his career carries on.
Verlander is back. After a sub-par (for him) 2013, Justin Verlander appears to be a man on a mission for the Tigers. He’s looked largely un-hittable early, so it’s never too early to predict another Cy Young in the Motor City this season.
Yasiel Puig is immensely talented and may have the best arm since Dave Parker roamed the Monongahela, but there are red flags popping up all over the place. He’s been called immature and petulant amidst charges of breaking rules and baseball mores. To these naysayers, I say “feh!” Puig is an absolute stud. The league may yet catch up to him and exploit the holes in his game, but his overwhelming talent will shine through once again and I believe he’ll be the NL MVP this season. His talent level is that crazy. As is that of the Dodgers as a team, for whom anything short of a World Series appearance this season will be a failure.
And finally, it was those two mini-Fakes who forced me to watch some of Wrestlemania XXX on Sunday evening. The Dead Man, The Phenom, The ‘Taker – had his 21 straight undefeated Wrestlemania matches come to an end when Brock Lesnar, who appears to have ingested Biogenesis by himself-stunned the world by besting The Undertaker. Not sure what else to say about this, but figured I’d put it out there. Me, I’m a Miz guy.
Oh, and the U Conn Huskies won the NCAA Championship.
Tune in tomorrow for a man who is Husky in his shorts, Angry Ward, and feel free to comment below and/or follow us on Twitter at @AldersonFake and @MeetTheMatts.
