LAS VEGAS, NV – Hold on to your hats, have we got a doozy for you today! Well, you can be the judge of that later, but there are intriguing storylines to explore. 
So stop expectorating yer tabaccy into your MeetTheMatts.com spittoon/*Mud Jug for 5 minutes, wash your hands and chaw-stained beards and get ready to add comments re today’s headline: RJ Barrett Bests John Starks, Bill Murray Mets Owner? And no, we will not be talking soccer here.
RJ Barrett: The #1 NBA Pick That Wasn’t for Knicks fans, Barrett made his NBA Summer League debut last night. His shooting performance under the spotlight was reminiscent of a legendary Knickerbocker sharp-shooter, John Starks. Problem is, the similarities harkens back to macabre memories of a Starks Stinker (TM); his 3-18 epic fail in Game 7 of the NBA Finals and Hakeem and the Houston Rockets. At least fans and The Starkman knew that shite performance was a aberration for the consistently stellar spark-plug.
[CUT TO PRESENT DAY]
Barrett’s Bombs Were Duds. A 4-18 shooting performance made for a shaky debut, figuratively and literally, thanks to the earthquake that shook the arena and ended the contest prematurely. Granted, one could argue that the quake knocked him off his game but certain aspects of his game carried over from his Duke days. Like a career 66.5 free-throw shooting percentage as a Blue Devil. He clunked 75% from the line last night (1-4) and made but one teammate feel special – with just one assist. But hey, Rome wasn’t built in a day, so we’ll wait and see. At least he didn’t go down with a knee injury, like Zion Williamson did, creating an epidemic of vomiting Pelicans’ fans along the bayou.
Shifting to baseball…
Bill Murray as Mets Owner: Crazy? Maybe. But what you may not know is that Murray, aside from being a sports nut, owns pieces of a gaggle of minor league teams. He’s also a guy that likes to fall of the grid. In fact, he has no agent and has an unlisted 800 number for Directors and Filmmakers to try and reach him. What better resume could a replacement owner for the Mets have after the Wilpon Dynasty? Big Bill is a part-owner of the Hudson Valley Renegades, St. Paul Saints, Charleston RiverDogs and the Brockton Rox. He has previously been involved with the Salt Lake Sting, Utica Blue Sox, Fort Myers Miracle, Catskill Cougars and Salt Lake City Trappers. This gives him FAR MORE CREDIBILITY than Jeff Wilpon. And since he’s a lifelong Cubbies fan, he knows the plight of a Mets fan. So Mr. Murry, if you’re listening, please answer our prayers and get majority ownership of the Moribund Mets. That would be relief Metsville hasn’t seen since… Tug McGraw.
That’s all for now. NO SOCCER. And hopefully you still have most of your fingers now that the fireworks have run out.
*More on Mud Jugs:
Specking of getting muddy , come back tomorrow for a man that revels in rubbing dirt on it, Cheesy Bruin.
