NEW YORK, NY – Happy day after Valentine’s Day! Yet another awful gift from February. Hope this post isn’t getting in the way of everyone icing down their chafed loins or interrupting a trip to the local apothecary in search of morning-after meds… if you’re lucky enough to live somewhere that still allows such things. Anyway, with the lingering stale scent of amor still in the air, here are some things going on in sports right now to love.
Aaron Rodgers Goes Dark. The end of this week, Aaron Rodgers goes into his way-too-publicized Darkness Retreat. It’s only supposed to last 4 days, but he should really take all the time he needs. Stay in the dark until the end of the month or until training camp or indefinitely. It’s the best thing for all involved, except Pat McAfee maybe. But who cares about that guy? Listen to me. Do not go into the light Carol A… I mean, Aaron. Turn away from it. Actually, am I the only one who expects this Gumball to emerge from his self-imposed, self-important blackout wearing a Raiders jersey? For now, I’ll enjoy the rest of my vacation from this a-hole.
Yipee Kyrie, Motherf***er. Thrilled that Kyrie Irving’s New York plans turned into more of a temporary crappy Airbnb thing than the opulent Championship Penthouse he thought he and Durant were going to move into together out in BK. He’s Dallas’ problem now. I’m sure the 0-2 start playing with Luka is only a hiccup until they develop a chemistry and rhythm, start winning tons of games, and then go straight into the toilet when Irving inevitably flakes. Enjoy, Dallas!
NFL Transparency. Damn, I love it when the #NFL doesn’t even bother to hide what a bullsh!t racist outfit it continues to be. I guess they feel they met the minority head coaching hire quota when DeMeco Ryans got the Texans job. Handshakes all around, gents, on a job done. Now, the rest of you teams go ahead and hire a bunch of white guys. That’s it, don’t be bashful, Denver and Carolina already got theirs. You too, Indianapolis, go ahead and take that white offensive coordinator from Philly. Atta way, Arizona, you go get that other white coordinator from Philly. Don’t you worry that his defense didn’t show up at the Super Bowl; you got YOUR guy. Guess “rules were made to be broken” goes for the Rooney Rule as well.
Baseball’s Back. Football being over (at least until the NFL starts hyping the sh!t out of the draft) means that baseball will come creeping back in the consciousness. Spring Training is upon us, and I love Spring Training! I should be down in Florida in March, and hope to catch a couple of games. To paraphrase Bob Murphy: “From the crack of the bat, I’ll be in front of the crowd in my stylish Members Only jacket.”
That’s all the love I’ve got to give today. Come back tomorrow for Buddy Diaz, who’s still nursing a broken Super Bowl heart.
