IT AIN'T TENNIS: U.S. OPEN FOR [FUNNY] BUSINESS
FLUSHING MEADOWS, NY – Marat Safin opened the U.S. Open by closing out his career. He had a pretty solid 12 years on the tour, […]
Articles by The Matts
HERE'S AN IDEA: JUST PLAY HURT
WAGGA WAGGA, AUSTRALIA – Despite Angry Ward’s Ghandi-like opposition to our muy macho ideals re toughing out injuries and our inclination to the rougher sports […]
KANGAROOS COULD FIX YOUR TEAM
BYRON BAY, AUSTRALIA – When the news of the preposterous yet history-making loss by the New York Metropolitans – the snake bitten baseball club in […]
DOPEY BRITS: FOREVER CURSED, FOREVER ANGRY
SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA – Call it karma. Call it payback. Call it what you will but Mother England will be forever kicking herself in her royal […]
VICK AND VICTORIA'S SECRET: WHAT'S WITH FOOTBALL?!
MELBOURNE, VICTORIA; AUSTRALIA – We have now been Down Under in Oz but for 4 full days (we lost two traveling) and already we’ve seen […]
ODE TO BALLS
SAN JOSE, COSTA RICA – Plenty of praise and accolades for athletes are bandied about in the world of team sports but where would any […]
FORREST GRIFFIN & INJUNS SWEARING
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Today, live on free TV, for every woman, child and man to see, there will be a woman swearing – and nobody […]
CHUCK ROGERS IN THE 21ST CENTURY: SPACE CADET AIDED BY A MATT
winless, even… DETROIT, MI – Now it all makes sense for Detroit Lions fans. The worst football team since Columbia’s Lions – winless, even -just […]
WALK THE WALK: SHUT UP & BUILD A TEAM FOR $125 MIL
UTOPIA, KS – Okay, we’ve all been armchair General Managers and/or bile-spewing critics of our team’s moves, lack of moves, contracts tendered, contracts not given, […]
METS ACQUIRE HALLADAY: MINAYA STUNS LEAGUE
NEW YORK, NY – The NY Mets and Toronto Blue Jays have allegedly reached an agreement that would make star right-hander Roy Halladay a NY […]