I'M TIRED AND I'M MAD AS HELL

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by Rex O’Rourke

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NEW YORK, NY – There are some people, expressions, and pop culture events that I’m tired of and I not going to take it anymore.

  • WHY DOES DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME KICK IN ON A WEEKEND? Take an hour of rack time away from a weekday not the weekend. Weekends are short enough!
  • CANADIAN DOCTORS. The warm and fuzzies over the Olympics has worn off, accept for curling, of course. Every time an athlete crosses the border for an “anti-inflammatory” an investigation ensues. This takes valuable air time and print space from more important issues such as who they are sleeping with, and why can’t they lay off an 0h and 2 curve in the dirt.
  • BRACKETOLOGY. Unless this refers to the study and science of hanging shelves, this really isn’t a word. In addition, I doubt these people are scientists in lab coats but rather nerds in sweatpants working out of their parents’ basements.
  • THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX. Whatever happened to creative, witty, or innovative? These are perfectly acceptable, time tested words. And whose box is this? Are we actually inside a large box? What is the box made of? And who put us in this box? Is there ventilation? Sandwiches? A toilet? I want some answers, dammit!
  • THROWN UNDER THE BUS. Has this ever really happened? Most people can’t throw a baseball 90 feet, yet these same folks are expected to have the strength and athletic ability to chuck an entire person under a moving vehicle. Given the physical shape most of our citizens, I think this to be highly unlikely.
  • MEL KIPER. It’s coming into Spring which will eventually just be named Melonia. The NFL Draft, while important, is not a vaccine for Polio, feeding the homeless, or cleaning up the environment. It’s not the end of the world. Just tell me who The Giants drafted when it’s over and I’m cool with that? Oh and by the way, Todd McShay, don’t think I’m not tired of you as well.
  • AMERICAN IDOL. The show I’ve championed since its debut, Modern Family, has beaten Idol in the ratings for the last five weeks. There’s only one reality show worth watching, they’re called sports.

  • West Coast Craig
    , tomorrow.
    Until next week,
    Rex

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