Angry Ward Wednesday: David Wright and Adrian Peterson and the Time to Hang ‘Em Up

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BRONX, NY – I had a fun film-based column planned for today, but yesterday’s news about New York Mets’ third baseman David Wright and Minnesota Vikings’ tailback Adrian Peterson pretty much demanded some sort of response. The news isn’t great.

Do the Wright Thing. So, Mets’ captain David Wright was sent back to New York from Spring Training to be examined at The Hospital for Special Surgery (which should be renamed: Ye Olde Rest Home for Broken Mets) for a right shoulder impingement. Hmm. A right shoulder impingement. Sounds benign enough. But nothing is benign when it comes to Wright. This shoulder issue is apparently related to DW’s neck surgery which was probably related to his spinal stenosis, which… well, you know the old “neck bone’s connected to the head bone” lyrics. At this point, Wright’s entire body is failing him. Not in a tragic sense, but in a way that pretty much makes it impossible to play baseball for a living. Should he retire and give $67 million back to the Wilpons? Nah, don’t ever give anything back to those two crooks. Should he retire and take a job in the organization that doesn’t involve hitting or throwing or running or, especially, bending? Yes! The Mets and Wright need to work this thing out. He’s done as a player. Keeping him around the team with the hollow promise of some return date is just cruel. No one wanted it to end this way, but Wright and the Mets should find a way to handle this in the right way. I know doing something correctly is virtually impossible for the Mets, but let’s hope they figure it out.

Explains a lot. (Short Matt Photo last night)

Sunset for “All Day” Adrian Peterson. Yesterday my Minnesota Vikings declined to pick up the 2017 option on one of the most mercurial running backs to ever play in the NFL. And it was the right thing to do. For starters, Peterson is about to turn 32, which is almost ancient in terms of the position he plays. More importantly, he’s coming off some significant injuries, as well as a suspension, which have taken their toll. The other big thing is that Minnesota would have to pay him $18 million this year, and that just ain’t happening. There’s a slim possibility that AP comes back to the Vikes, but I doubt that happens. As the expression goes, “this parting is well made.

Minnesota’s Super Bowl window with Peterson opened and slammed shut that year when Brett Favre threw a pick in the NFC title game against New Orleans, and once more in the 2015 playoffs when Blair Walsh missed a gimme FG with no time left in the Divisional Round against Seattle. He wasn’t blameless in those losses either, as he turned into something of a fumbling machine as his career progressed. Peterson wants to win a Super Bowl, but someone may want to tell him that the three teams that intrigue him, Giants, Texans, and Tampa Bay, are way off the scent. He should be thinking more along the lines of Denver and New England. Anyway, best of luck to him, and my Vikes, moving forward.

And, while we’re on the subject of hanging ’em up and moving on, I’d say I am wayyyy past my expiration date here at MTM. Maybe Breitbart is looking for another lying, talent-less hack, eh?

Come back tomorrow for Buddy Diaz, who is nowhere near retirement age but is showing signs of dementia with his recent comments on Kate Upton.

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Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.

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