Hell hath no fury like a scorned woman and….Dragon Dictation

sports_cardinals_st.louis_mlb_spring_trainingFor those of you that know me the following will be a whimsical tour through my brain.  For those of you that don’t this might be akin to watching the hills have eyes on pcp.  Basically yesterday at around 430-5pm i found out that my computer had a virus and I could not take it home because it needed to be worked on by a tech at work.  I scrambled to get a hold of Matt via phone, text, email and I even yodeled to him with no response.  Then it hit me.  It is possible to do this entire thing on my phone.  At first I started typing but  I kept getting interrupted by texts and Pandora ads for penis pills.  Then it hit me.  I have Dragon Dictation.  Nothing bad can come from me speaking the article.  wrong……
February 28, 2013 ladies and gentlemen the Mattiverse yours truly Cam James has discovered the greatest thing on earth by happenstance I can speak my words and they turn  into print.  My compxuter got herpes so i had to do todaya article in my phone. Evidently this is not new I can just speak and it turns into words. They may not be the right words but that is a risk in willing to take.  That’s great for me because I can keep my right hand free will you listen to the poop that comes out of my mouth.
Most of you’re probably wondering my right hand is doing but that’s not really temperature conversation
Well I have your attention today I want to cover a few things the first of those things is the NHL take you to New York Rangers give me a aneurysm every time I watch they just suck where is the foil  I mean li
terally Ryan Callahan is Superman and the rest of the clowns like Hagelin why is Hagelin wearing his visor that way but he has a visor it does one wear it but he has one what the fudge wise even have a visor track of where the visor being aware of visor what’s the frogging point.
Secondly Tom Brady hey how’s it going? say hi your mother for me.
The real thing I want to talk to you about
I guess all is being said Zach Wheeler’s ERA is lower than Lance Lynn the Cardinals starter.  Lance gave up two runs on four hits in two innings.  He gave up a home run to the Mets? John Buck a home run? When is the last time the Mets had home run?today though is the Mets what the master yesterday did the Cardinals the more they’re starting pitcher do he missed his start in why does he mis his start?   He misses start because he was swinging a bat, and hurt his oblique in the batting cage.  why the frog is your starting pitcher swinging in the batting cage hurting himself  before the game?  He is a top prospect obtained from San Francisco and trade it’s an adult try the Giants a couple years ago he supposed to be the be-all end-all Zack Wheeler and guess what?  He can’t swing a bat without hurting his oblique. sounds a little wus to me.
Additionally Johan Santana has “left shoulder fatigue” What is left shoulder fatigue?! I got left shoulder fatigue but I’m not throwing the ball.  Left shoulders tired withdrawal of it right shoulder fatigue do sometimes my shoulder gets tired.  What’s wrong with him? I’ll get it he supposed come back and face batters in a “B” game. So if you’re not playing in spring training you’re playing in the sub spring training what does that make you? can’t make it at your heart when she nasty you’re not even in the regular spring-training?  “B” game is like that’s “for I’m getting drunk in Port St. Lucie for a month and then I’m not gonna play I’m getting paid $23 million.”
I said 500 word yet hopefully Matts editing this I think right hand if you’re wondering does have a vodka drinking it pretty good.  Not  my best but good.


I’m getting fatigue some hold this phone my face so I’ll guess I’ll see you guys later and then Cookie will come back with something more comprehensible tomorrow.  Adios muchachos.

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About Cam James 128 Articles
Cam James hails from Missouri and is a down-the-line St. Louis fan: Rams, Cards, Blues... Thus his occasional "Ram Rules" column. He hates Kansas basketball, lives in Denver, been a wrestler, dabbled in Ultimate Fighting and plays hardball. Oh, and he's Opie Taylor white.