Angry Ward Wednesday: Playing Hardball… Literally & Figuratively

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Angry Ward (fishing hat) & JG Clancy (standing) on way to NFL Free Agent Viewing

New York, NY – Everyone is pretty much hung up on March Madness and NFL free agency these days, so it comes as a little bit of a surprise that the Major League Baseball season-opener is only 11 days away. More surprising, perhaps, is that even though I’m a fan of the Mariners and Mets, I’m actually looking forward to them playing hardball. A lot of it probably has something to do with the promise of warm weather and cold beer but also the pipe dream of a season featuring a more level playing field, both financially and pharmaceutically. It will also be fun to watch all of those millionaires who went balls-out in the World Baseball Classic back in their familiar uniforms and dogging it. Yeah, I’m looking at you Robbie Cano… but not just you.

Speaking of Cano, the Yankees still haven’t signed him to a new contract, but is that such a bad thing? If I can digress back to NFL free agency for a moment, the one surprising development thus far has been how many highly-thought-of free agents are being signed to one- and two-year contracts for reasonable sums. This may or may not be some sort of collusion on the owners’ parts but one thing’s for sure, it’s smart investing. You have a hell of a lot better chance getting a good season out of a guy playing for a big contract rather than someone playing with one. This very site operates under the same business model, so you know it’s rock solid. Anyway, the Yankees should go ahead and let Cano and d-bag extraordinaire Scott Boras continue to twist in the wind. What’s the worst that could happen, the season ends and Cano goes to the team who offers him the most money? Don’t the Yankees still have the most money? Well, the Dodgers are spending dough like some West Virginia hillbilly who just won Powerball, but still… When all is said and done, there’s no way that Cano and Boras put a grudge above bucks.

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Robbie Cano & Scotty Boras chillin’…

OK, so, back to the upcoming season. The Yankees and Mets both open at home on April 1st at roughly the same time, which is MLB’s perfect little April Fool’s joke to anyone driving a car around the Metropolitan area on that particular afternoon. In fact, after the Mets game lets out, you’d be better served playing drunk Whiffle Ball in the parking lot for a couple of hours than drunk driving your way on home. The Yanks host arch rival Boston while the Mets square off against the San Diego Padres, which means Keith Hernandez will be waxing poetic about fine wine, beaches, and all things west coast. Talk about must-see TV. Thankfully, the Rockies, Tigers, and Indians all open on the road so the chances of games being snowed out are significantly decreased. It only took baseball 100 years or so to get that right. Finally, my Mariners will open on the road against Clancy’s Athletics, with King Felix on the bump and former Metropolitan lost souls Jason Bay and Ollie Perez with a fresh chance to make me angry all over again. Fun times. But really, having baseball back will be fun… just so long as those annoying bald guys in the ridiculous suits don’t show up.

Come back tomorrow for Cam James, hopefully in a bikini, the surest sign that Spring has returned.


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About Angry Ward 755 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.