MLB Winter Meetings, Whole Foods Market For Sports, New York’s 6th Crime Family

Sandy..."now where can I find that SS?"
Now where can I find that SS?

ORLANDO, FL – After the signing of Curtis Granderson, it is comforting to hear that Real Sandy is back to shopping at the Freddy Garcia and Cesar Izturis aisle at the Owners’ MLB Winter Meetings that started on Sunday evening in Orlando. Like one of the old folks pushing his wagon through overpriced hipster-friendly Whole Foods, the old bait and switch appears to be a staple of the Sandy repertoire.  On Friday, the signing of Granderson was announced and the commitment was for 4 years and $60M. Of course it was back-loaded so his 2014 salary is $13M.  Sandy is now knee-deep in an urgent quest to trade Daniel Murphy and Ike Davis, who’s combined salary in 2014 will be roughly $9M.  So when Sandy announced that a new day had dawned, that the Mets would be free of the Bay, Santana, Perez, Francisco contracts, etc. – meaning this off-season would be THE off-season when the shackles would come off and the Mets would again be run like a huge market team – he lied.

Sandy says the Mets team payroll will be around $85M next year. With apologies to the late Richard Crenna, that’s my brother’s bar bill at the Club… and he made law review at Michigan. (It should be noted that Short Matt made Law Review at Thomas Cooley School of Law)  $85M is 3 years of Jacoby Ellsbury for the Yankees, 3 months of Robbie Cano for the Mariners.  NOT a New York Major League Baseball team’s annual salary.  article-curtis-granderson

But this is not meant to serve as an “I told ya so” to all fans who’ve scoffed at FSA’s assertions, and sycophants who’ve been so god-damned sure that 2014 would bring about the return of big-spending and competitive ballclubs.  No, this column is dedicated to the Twitterverse of Met fan idiots who combine a lack of baseball knowledge, a blind belief that Sandy is both competent and sincere, with the clean-living that comes from living in their Mothers’ basements.  The column is further dedicated to the expanding coterie of sycophant local Met reporters; the Adam Rubins, the Mike Pumas, the Joel Shermans who get invited to “Lunch with the Liars” and listen to Sandy spin nonsense, and then proceed to ask Sandy a total of ZERO probing or follow up questions when the man with his pants on fire goes on unchallenged with his utter crap.  And Finally the column is dedicated to the National Baseball Media. The Jon Heymans of the world-who for 15 years was a hack writing for Newsday and had one source for all of his information (Mark Attanasio, Brewers owner)  The Ken Rosenthals, the Jayson Starks, the Buster Olneys and even the granddaddy of them all-the Peter Gammons of the baseball universe.

For 5 long years, the local and especially the National Media ignored the torture and disembowelment of the Mets franchise and its long suffering fans.  Not one piece written by any of them that spells out the crimes of the Wilpon-Katz cabal. The complicity of that Cabal with the Madoff scam. The ongoing collaboration between Bud Selig and the Wilpons to ensure the team remains in the incapable hands of the Wilpons-thereby guaranteeing not competitive baseball but only that the franchise remains in this Wilpon family. The 6th Crime Family in New York.  Nope, if the story wasn’t about OPS or quirky trivia, or romanticizing the abandonment of the stolen base as a weapon, then Gammons, Stark, Olney, et al had no interest in reporting on it.

On to the fun stuff…

Former Mitchell Report entry and All-Star Outfielder Magglio Ordonez is the newly elected Socialist Mayor of his hometown in Venezuela. mags

Much like last year’s performances in Atlanta and Baltimore, the Giants failed to muster much of an effort in San Diego.  An NFL team cannot survive an 0-6 start, and neither should Tom Coughlin and his crew. Time to start over.  Thanks for the good times Tom.

I’m picking July of 2015 when we start to hear grumbling that Cano wants out of Nirvana. (pun intended)

Robbie Doesn't even like Flannel!!
Robbie Doesn’t even like Flannel!!

A team that doesn’t get the notice it once did in this town is the Red Storm of St. John’s. The Johnnies have a bunch of athletic pro prospects on their roster that should get better as the season progresses and this should be a Sweet 16 team come March. If you’ve never seen JaKarr Sampson or Chris Obekpa-the best shotblocker I’ve ever seen!…go catch these young Johnnies. Cuse is up next on Sunday at the Garden.      Chris Obekpa

Lastly…Congratulations to the UB Bulls on their bid to the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl vs San Diego State – the school which over the years has produced the likes of Tony Gwynn, Stephen Strasburg and the legendary Michael Cage.  Go Bulls!

And come back tomorrow for our Michael Cage, Angry Ward.

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About Fake Sandy Alderson 175 Articles
Big Al Sternberg/Fake Sandy Alderson is from a not-so-nice part of Queens. But through grit and elbow-grease finds himself living on Long Island with his bride and twin 12-year-old sons. He is a sports encyclopedia... and a loose cannon. In fact, Michael Baron of blocked him on Twitter. You can find The Blocked One's Tweets here: @AldersonFake