Angry Ward Wednesday: February is the Cruelest Sports Month

st0126stskaters-1BRONX, NY – I’m writing this one day after a tiny little snow event dumped eight inches of pure uncut powder on Gotham and now they’re saying we’re going to get a bunch more tonight going into tomorrow. Normally this wouldn’t bother me – I love the snow – but my brother just flew down to Florida this morning and I’m on the hook for shoveling out his building as well as putting out the trash. He has this incredibly innate skill related to getting out of Dodge in advance of snow storms… and leaving yours truly holding the shovel. I’m serious, he’s got like a career .975 batting average when it comes to this stuff. Anyway, there are certainly worse things happening in the world. Here’s a few.

Dropping Like Flies. As everyone knows, Philip Seymour Hoffman was found dead in his apartment last weekend of what looks like a drug overdose. He’s just another in a long line of talented folks felled by the needle. As Neil Young said, “I’m not a preacher, but drugs killed a lot of great men.Phillip Seymour Hoffman in moneyballHe leaves behind three kids which is far more tragic than never seeing him act again. But I am kind of upset that the last movie I saw him in was The Master, a film that sent me screaming for the exits. Instead, I’ll prefer to remember him from The Big Lebowski or his fairly hilarious turn in the otherwise mediocre Along Came Polly. Finally, his completely inept Art Howe was the best thing in Moneyball.

Also checking out recently was folk legend Pete Seeger. He lived a good long life, had a strong set of principles, wrote some important songs, and will hopefully have the new Tappan Zee Bridge named after him, so we’re not gonna get too broken up.

But lost in all of this… well… loss, was the passing of Maximilian Schell. He made a ton of movies and won an Oscar but I’ll never forget him as Larry London in The Freshman, an absolutely fantastic character and performance. Farewell, Larry.

Angry_Ward ice dancing Meet_The_MattsFebruary Sucks. I’ve said this a million times over but, February sucks. It’s easily the worst month of the year. Not because of the weather, which is lousy, or my birthday, which is no picnic either, but because February sports and entertainment absolutely rot. The Super Bowl was awful. Basketball and Hockey are long way off from any sort of meaningful games. March Madness is still around a month and a half away. And Hollywood is busy dropping it’s festering garbage into theaters.

But, there’s always the Olympics, right? I actually like the winter Olympics, but all reports out of Mother Russia is that Sochi is nothing more than one big open sewer. Still, what else is there to do? Might as well tune in for some hockey and ski jumping (I always liked ski jumping.). Short Matt will be glued to ice dancing, as usual. Same with Junoir and curling. But that short track speed skating has got to go. I know pitchers and catchers report, but that’s hardly consolation for a guy who roots for the Mets and Mariners.

Midwinter Recess? Just checked my kid’s school calendar and see that she’s out of school for the entire week starting the 17th. What in th-? OK, consider this column done. Sorry, I know it’s severely lacking, like February itself. But I’ve got a crap load of work to get to before this frogging midwinter recess. De Blasio!!!!!!!!!

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About Angry Ward 752 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.