Meet The Matts Radio: Johnny Football, Farnsworth, Knicks plus…

First things first, please give today’s Meet The Matts Radio segment a listen and we’ll grow comb-overs.:

Cut me? I'll cut you old man!
Cut me? I’ll cut you old man!

NEW YORK, NY – Today’s Meet The Matts Radio segment brings us the usual hard hitting investigative banter designed to provoke, inspire and maybe even amuse you. So go home, get your freakin’ shine box, and have a listen.  We have all the usual suspects on hand including Mad Dog’s glorious Bad Job/Not a Bad Job Quiz Show that even David Wright enjoys. Having grown up in Virginia Beach where the Mets had their AAA team for many years, David would have played for his hometown team as the prince of the tides. So sit back you inglorious bastards-you’re in for a treat. We’ve literally ripped from the headlines for this week’s show, including…

*In the With the New (Jenrry Mejia) and out with the Old (and bitter) Kyle Farnsworth, who thinks his walking papers were about something other than being a bad relief pitcher.

Johnny-Football-gets-to-read-Lettermans-Top-10*Brian Cashman, formerly a boy Wonder GM before MLB teams starting hiring teenagers to run their teams. “Cash” has some serious flow problems with his 2014 roster-namely a pitching staff with 1 top shelf starting pitcher and 4 question marks-4 too many for a team with a 3 Billion dollar team payroll.

*Johnny Manziel should be a New York Jet but his charisma and game breaking ability will go to waste in the dog pound on Lake Erie.

*Satellite Radio Sensation Mad Dog continues his parking woes and his behavior grows ever more erratic.

One final note… Jeff Wilpon presented Derek Jeter with a retirement gift in the form of a Subway tile styled #2 plaque that actually looked pretty cool. Clearly the idea was from someone outside the Mets organization. Jeter played his final game at CitiField last night-that is, unless…never mind. Jeter played his last game in Flushing last night.

Comment below and come back tomorrow for Junoir Blaber.

**Bonus: Correctly identify the number of Movie References dropped within the above piece and win a prize. Angry Ward is not eligible.

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About Fake Sandy Alderson 175 Articles
Big Al Sternberg/Fake Sandy Alderson is from a not-so-nice part of Queens. But through grit and elbow-grease finds himself living on Long Island with his bride and twin 12-year-old sons. He is a sports encyclopedia... and a loose cannon. In fact, Michael Baron of blocked him on Twitter. You can find The Blocked One's Tweets here: @AldersonFake