“Why can’t you talk?” – Unknown kid to Mr. Met at Cohen’s Children’s Hospital in New Hyde Park, NY.
EL BARIO, BRONX – Your weekly Sports Bully Pulpit got frantically/frenetically pushed up to prime-time after an urgent call from the MTM Dugout – your Righteous Deacon Blaber
was being moved up in the rotation. So, I immediately started reading up on the news not covered by my fellow writers this week and found them… where mama keeps the cookies (hockey reference for the Puck Heads). Anyway, we will explore the new MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred‘s and his challenges, Orlando Scandrick and his extra-circular activities, Mr. Met being grilled by children and the bits of news that slipped under the radar this week.
MLB Commissioner: After two days of politicking and back-room deals, Rob Manfred “Man” was Blinded By The Light and was elected as the new commissioner of Major League Baseball. Reports are it was a brutal interview but at the end of the day, the owners went to the well and hired Bud Selig’s Chief Operating Officer. There was no thinking out the box, as they wanted someone who understood that they – the owners – came first. Now Manfred has to find a way to improve the game and make it more watchable and I’m here to help.
1) Get rid of replay. The game is already long enough so lets go back to trusting the umpires
2) Time clock on batter’s and pitchers getting ready
3) Skip the 4-ball on an intentional walk and just have the catcher tell the ump
4) No more playoff expansion, unless you shorten the season
5) Promotion/Relegation. If you are not good enough to avoid last then back to Triple A you go, and up comes some useless town and their team.
It remains to be seen from – a Mets perspective – if Manfred will call sic the dogs on the Wilpons and pressure them to ax Sandy Alderson and spend more money… or maybe find someone to buy the Wilpons out. All very unlikely but we can hope…
Orlando Scandrick: There is a hip-hop track that goes “Popped a molly and I’m sweating. Wooo!!” I would bring up the video but it doesn’t touch the video Angry Ward introduced us to on Wednesday, “Turn it down for what?” Scandrick popped a molly and he is suspended. Then he apologized to the cameras, saying must have just partied too much. He will be suspended for twice the amount Ray Rice was, so that will be 4 games. At the press conference Cowboys head coach Jason Garrett tried to laugh it off. With losing and now this, I am surprised Garrett is still there. The guess here is Jerry Jones and Cowboy legend/Garrett’s #1 fan Troy Aikman just love the guy too much to cut him loose. I see Garrett going the Bill Belichek route of failing in one city (Cleveland), going back to being an assistant coach until the opportunity with the right team (no Tony Romo) and management (not Jerry) give him the opportunity to create a dynasty.
Mr. Met: It came to my attention that Mr. Met visited a children’s hospital this week. Everyone thinks that it is a great and sweet idea. Apparently the kids thought so too but they had some big questions of the big round-headed one.
“Where you born with a head that big?”
“Why don’t you have any teeth?”
How these gems have not been asked by seasoned professional beat writers is insane. Mr. Met refused to comment.
In other news… There were 3 other things that grabbed my attention:
Sam Hairston: Sgt. 1st Class Sam Hairston was killed earlier this week in Afghanistan. The Department of Defense announced that Hairston’s unit took small-arms fire from the enemy in Ghazni, Afghanistan. Hairston joined the Army in 2003. He had been a linebacker for the University of Houston from 1997-2000. It’s always sad to hear of a solider passing, especially as he is doing the job that very few have the heart or will to do. While in the Army, Hairston was awarded multiple prestigious awards including a Bronze Star, Purple Heart and the Meritorious Service Medal. Pro sports could use people like this.
Vince Young: Vince Young has a new job at the University of Texas. Young will work with the Division of Diversity and Community Engagement. His duties will include helping with alumni relations and focusing on programs that support first-generation college students from low-income backgrounds. So he will reach out to poor kids from tough backgrounds – like himself – and get them to come to Texas. Plus, his presence will keep the coffers from the boosters filled. Time for life after football, and we wish Vince luck.
Carol Wozniacki’s renaissance: After Rory McIlroy did his best douche-bag impression last week, saying that breaking up with Carol was the reason his game rebounded, there had to be a backlash. For the record, I am with Angry Ward and say breaking up by text or email is cowardly, but then throwing her under the bus for your bad form is deplorable. Relationships don’t work sometimes – no need to blame the person on air. Well Carol has rebounded from McJerk very well. Here are her numbers before, during and after Rory:
Before: 81-13 record, 10 tournament victories, 1 first-round exit, rose to No. 1 ranking
During: 37-21 record, 1 tournament victory, 6 first-round exit, fell to No. 9 ranking
After (minus the French Open): 17-3, 1 tournament victory, 0 first-round exits, rose from No. 14 to No. 12, included a three-set loss to Serena Williams.
Suck on those potatoes, Rory!!
That is it for now, hope you enjoyed the article and hope to hear from you below.
*Short Matt prefers original author Bruce Springsteen’s version.
P.s… If you want to read more of my ramblings as a Rugby Guy, you can find them on RugbyWrapUp.com and our Facebook Rugby Wrap Up Page and follow us on Twitter @RugbyWrapUp and @JunoirBlaber, respectively