POINT MAGU, (you’ve done it again!) – Pardon me folks, but I’m still feeling a little crispy after a weekend camping up over the Ventura County line by this glorious beach… turned death trap. Hurricanes off of Baja have rippled into enormous waves pounding the California coast; good news for pro surfers and drone cameras, bad news for the real-life Baywatch life guards, who must be exhausted racing out and dragging ashore all the folks who wandered innocently into the shockingly powerful rip-currents – like Sterling Hayden in The Long Goodbye – including three from our own party! The waves were really crashing, like your browsers after trying those links I just threw your way.
It was a weekend without much media connection: A vacation from the grind of worrying about sports and just long enough to miss:
-My fantasy baseball season coming mercifully to an ignominious, injury-riddled end.
-The Yankees getting shut out twice by the Royals, their slim hopes of catching that last wild card spot dwindling further (though yesterday they smartly chipped in early for the Derek Jeter “Thank You For Avoiding Any PED Scandal” Victory Lap… brought 2 you by Nike: show the Captain you’ll always remember him by buying our gear! Hopefully that leaves the rest of the month to maybe concentrate on some baseball?
-The Mets winning their third straight series.
–Serena Williams win another US Open, her 18th Grand Slam title in the last fifteen years (I hope she keeps playing forever, and never ends up on Biggest Loser like the now 300 plus pound Zina Garrison is this year…
-And… judging from his return in a new Geico commercial, Icky Woods’ shuffle threatens seismic activity these days. Time makes fools of us all, or so the saying goes.
Returning to civilization, I flipped on the AM radio I eagerly welcomed back the NFL season with… the Raiders/Jets three-and-out snooze-fest??? Both teams feature reclamation projects at RB, but who would’ve guessed the best of the bunch would be Chris Ivory? Remember when Chris Johnson, Maurice Jones Drew and Darren McFadden were fantasy studs? Neither do I…and the season may be over for the Raiders already. Sure it’s just one game into it, but, yes, your season is over.
You too, St. Louis Rams, you’ve got a third string QB going now, and all the pins that held the hopes of a vaunted defense were popped out at home by a dynamite Cordarelle Patterson… Angry Ward’s Vikes suddenly have a legitimately scary combo with actual Nordic sounding surnames, befitting their team heritage – between Patterson and Adrian Peterson (up in Valhalla, Peter and Patter must be proud)… Who else is leaving the playoff conversation so soon? The Chiefs have nobody to throw to, all those first picks that went to Jamal Charles in fantasy drafts this last week were smothered by a stuffed box, and their defense is down two key members already…. Get in your woodies and head to the beach; enjoy the rest of the summer while you still can… Who else is invited? Could it be the Patriots? Uh… no, I’m not going there yet. The Dolphins need to do the same thing in New England later on in the year when it’s not so nice out for it to really count.
By then, however it’ll be too late for beach parties.
Come back for a man that is The Hef of Jersey Shore beach Parties, Grinding Ax Walter Hynes, tomorrow.