Angry Ward Wednesday: Rex Ryan, Notre Dame and Lisa Ann – What’s the Right Thing to Do?

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Notre-Dame-Freshman-Goes-on-Date-With-Lisa-Ann-42-Year-Old-Porn-StarBRONX, NY – I have to admit that it’s been pretty tough cranking out columns here of late. To say that I have a lot on my plate is an understatement. But I do feel a certain commitment to this screwy site, its twisted followers, and its certifiably insane owner. So what’s the right thing to do? Step down and take care of important issues in my life like work and family and more work, or push on through and keep cranking out content for my cranky MTM bosses? At least for this week, it will inexplicably remain the latter. But it does give me a sorta topic that comes up in sports quite often: What’s the right thing to do?

Bring Me the Head of Rex Ryan. As many of you know, I read the NY Post quite often and follow columnist Mike Vaccaro, among others. On Monday Mr. Vaccaro called for the firing of Jets head coach Rex Ryan after his teams putrid six-turnover home defeat at the hands of the Buffalo Bills. It got me to thinking, is it right as a sports journalist to call for someone to lose their job? It’s a tough one. In this or any economy it seems fairly uncool to demand that someone get the ax, especially in something as public as a daily newspaper. Yet, as a sportswriter, Vaccaro has a job to do himself, and that job sometimes involves reporting what he sees and forming some sort of concrete opinion. In this case, though Ryan has been nothing short of spectacular sports column fodder during his Jets tenure, I’m going to side with Mike Vaccaro. He had an opinion, one that probably many hold, and he decided to voice it. Mike, whenever you have a free minute will ya suggest that I be fired as well? Thanks, buddy.

The Last Temptation of Justin BrentRex Ryan. For those of you who missed this story, last week Notre Dame freshman wide receiver Justin Brent went to a Knicks game with adult film star Lisa Ann. This first raised eyebrows in that Brent is 18- or 19-years-old and attends maybe the most Catholic University in the nation and Lisa Ann is 42 and attends the occasional orgy. For me the bigger question in this whole scenario was: “Who takes a woman to an exhibition Knicks game?” I don’t know, sounds like a fairly lame date to me. Anyway, this May-December duo did not shy away from displaying their affections for one another on Twitter and elsewhere, and it sent chins wagging and people “tsk-tsk-ing.” Should Notre Dame suspend Brent for some violation of their code of conduct? Should Lisa Ann be seeing a guy 23 years her junior? As far as I’m concerned the answers to those questions are “no” and “yes.” This is America dammit! And it’s every teenager’s dream to date an adult actress. And Lisa Ann handled her response to this issue quite well when she tweeted “The irony here is successful, older men have had beautiful young women on their arms in the past… Now it is MY turn to mix it up!” Well put.

Finally, Monday night Tony Romo injured his back in a loss to Washington. I want to clearly that it is never okay to cheer for an injury… not even for one happening to a Dallas Cowboy. It’s what separates the rest of humanity from Eagles fans.

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Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.

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