NEW YORK, NY – When you’re birthday is the same day as that of a Derek Jeter, you’re constantly reminded of one thing – your lack of success and your current standing in society. Every year since 1995, you were able to compare yourself.
For the first 3-5 years, it was cool. “Hey, Derek Jeter has my birthday.” Then, after gallant/brilliant season after gallant/brilliant season, it starts to wear you down. And it certainly doesn’t help you play baseball, are trying to make it as a sports professional and love the cross-town Mets, despise his Yankees (because of the flocking Mets). Further, it flat out sucks knowing that you are older than him. Older. In a twisted, unrealistic way you can almost empathize with what Alex Rodriguez must have felt… but he’s younger than Dignified Derek and makes $30,000,000.00 a year. That’s $30,000,000.00 a year. For you, a meager $30,000 would help cover some of the costs of running two websites 24/7 and allow you to exhale… well not really, who’s kidding who?
Even more irksome is that you like Derek Jeter. You like him! You want to hate him but can’t. You want to hit him in the face with a bag of nickels but know deep down, you’d rather have a beer with him. You want to shun him if given the chance but know you’d likely swoon like a schoolgirl around Justin Bieber.
Are there others that share your birthday? Sure. But none of them cramp your style or make you think of yourself as an utter flop like Jetes. Michael Vick, Kirk McLean, Ray Felton, Chad Pennington, Ed Jovanoski, Jason Kendall… You can live with those fellow Birthday Bashers.
Mick Jones of The Clash – and now in Heaven’s Green Room – is also a June 26-er. That’s cool.
Yet we digress. Back to that Damned Derek Jeter… He finally friggin’ retired. But not before going out swinging, banging out 3000 hits, Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, Minka Kelly, Lara Dutta (Miss Universe), Vanessa Minnillo and… You get the idea.
But now he’s gone; but suspiciously and conspicuously absent from the public eye… Yet, here we are bringing him back into the fray…
And for that, Derek Jeter – a pox on your house! (He may not know of the fray).
But… Happy Birthday.
P.s… Happy Birthday to New York Rugby Club Legend, Sean Danahy. A sexy beast.
