FREEHOLD, NJ – With all the terror talk around us… all day, every day, (I’m referring to the Dallas Cowboys) I surmised that we needed a diversion. And as it’s been quite some time since I rolled out one of my lists, today’s Top 10 NFL Dumb Bastards satisfies two birds with one bone… or something like that.
10) Aldon Smith: From his latest DWI to telling the TSA that he has a bomb, this pinhead joins a long list of Oakland Raider signings with IQ’s to match their jersey number.
9) Geno Smith: Despite the fact that [Genuis] Smith was the “victim” of the right hook to the grill assault, he assume responsibility… at least in my eyes. If you are the team leader, you write the check for six bills to a guy playing at league minimum – instead of taunting him. Next stop? CFL.
8) Joseph Randle: If Jerry Jones sends you packing, you must be a special one. This twit (Let’s bring one this back!) squandered his opportunity to take over for DeMediocre Murray. From shop-lifting to domestic abuse, Randle will be working at Golden Corral in six months. And yes, there’s something wrong with that. Oh, and that’s contingent on him staying out of jail.
7) LaRon Landry: The league actually just “lifted” [ahem] his suspension. And I’ll bet you 20 Preacher Curls a few teams will be interested in Mr.Natural Muscle.
6) Josh Gordon: Who? That forgotten status is where he is headed. This guy is what Johnny Football aspires to be!
5) Johnny Manziel: Hey, let’s give him credit for the hype that convinced a battered franchise into squandering a draft -once again- on a less-than-average talent/Party Gnome.
4) Ray Rice: Aligning with the Duke of Dumbass, Al Sharpton, is just not a good career move!
3) Jason Pierre-Paul: Do we really have to elaborate why he is on this list? Conversely, if by some miracle, the Giants win the Super Bowl, his glove will be as famous as Michael Jackson’s!
2) Greg Hardy: This guy needs a choke collar and an electric fence to protect those around him.
1) Jerry Jones: Where can one start when memorializing the crafty moves by this billionaire, who despite 20 years of futility, is still convinced that he can make the right moves to bring a championship back to BIG D?! The only BIG D here stands for DUMBASS!
Chime in with your additions, as their are so many additional idiots who could qualify, and come back tomorrow for another pundit lucky/dumb enough to be sucked in by the lure of riches and fame.