CONEY ISLAND, NY -Today we’ve got big stories to get to, including Derek Jeter being the Worst Yankee Ever, LeBron James playing mind games with all of us, Matt Harvey going to the Cyclones and… a Polish Baseball Scandal revisited! Gads, this will be fun!
Derek Jeter: How in the world can we call a guy with 5 World Series rings, decent off-the-field behavior and a penchant for coming up the biggest in the biggest situations The Worst Yankee Ever? Easy.
1) He’s left impossible shoes to fill for any Yankees fan over the age of 9. Just ask the guy with the two-syllable name beginning with a “D” that’s taken over at the spot. You know his name. He’s in all the commercials. Wait. No he isn’t. But forget the shortstop position. How about the guy(s) that are filling his spikes in the lineup, in terms of grace, fire, class and ability. Well… there’s Chase Headley. [giggle, guffaw] And… Actually there’s nobody.
2) Because Alex Rodriguez wanted to be with his “pal,” he was willing to move to 3rd base, giving the false impression that he was a team guy, not a compulsive liar. Yankee fans also thought he’d be a solid citizen once he took the diamond with Derek.
3) Now that he’s gone, we don’t get to see the hottest women on the planet strolling pretty much nude next to him on some beach – usually with him wearing a t-shirt and long shorts. We were so jealous we wanted to hit him in the face with a bag of nickels.
LeBron James: Let’s face it, the guy is the best the NBA has to offer… when he wants to be. He’s also a lot more cunning and business savvy than think. But make no mistake about this series with the Charanta Raptors; King James is making it abundantly clear to all that voted against him that he is the one and only, true NBA MVP. Move aside Steph Curry, Kevin Durant and Michael Russell Westbrook – you’re all frauds. James rules. Sure, he may find it tough rebounding and shooting with his thumb in his mouth at times, but jeepers, he’s good.
Matt Harvey: Have you ever been out to Coney Island? It’s the Walking Dead, meets Eastern Europe. When asked yesterday by Danny B about what to do about The Harve on his podcast, yours truly had an answer previously hashed out with Angry Ward: Send him to the Brooklyn Cyclones for two weeks. But only have him doing bullpen sessions 4 times in that span. Other than that, he should work for King Henry (not Lundquist) and at UPS loading boxes during the night shift and at Shoot The Freak on the weekends. That will straighten him out.
Polish Baseball Scandal: With the 30th Anniversary of the 1986 World Series invading Citi Field this weekend – and the Mets asking fans to have their fat fannies in their seats by 6 pm – we started digging into the history of Mets’ Championships. Since there were only two, it didn’t take us long. And, by golly, we’d nearly forgotten the key investigative report we did from Krakow, Poland, re the story that just won’t go away… the Polish Baseball Scandal of the 1969 World Series. See the clip at the bottom. Not your bottom, this article’s.
Oh… And the San Jose Sharks finally bit off the right meal to make it to their long-elusive Stanley Cup Finals. None other than that b@st@rd Derek Jeter’s lady friend, Hannah Davis, was the victim. St. Louis fans can once again sing the Blues on the way to Cards games. Screw you, St. Louis. Tony LaRussa cheated the Mets out that World Series.
That’s all for now. Please share your wisdom below, follow us on Twitter (@MeetTheMatts) and Facebook (Meet The Matts) and come back tomorrow for somebody that’s sneaky fast and absolutely stole the Coney Island piece above, Different Matt.
Here’s your Polish Baseball Scandal:
