TORNADO, KS – As the viewing screens we absorb sports in grow larger and higher in definition, I find that rather than highlighting the game it instead creates more distractions. Your eye starts to wander to places not part of the action. No where is this more prevalent than in baseball. There is so much time focused on the batter in the box you can’t help but start noticing the folks in the first few rows. Today we’ll talk about some notables in this #MLB Reality Show featuring the fans in the expensive seats.
First up, the star of the show, the Chuck Barris of this mad-cap troop. You all know and recognize Marlins Man from his appearance at nearly every playoff game in his nuclear orange jersey with Marlins displayed on the front. He usually comes with a posse of Instagram models also looking to cash in prime placement. I read or heard he suffers from cancer and has decided going to ballgames is the way to go out. Update: this story is not true. He is apparently now in dispute the team that gave him his identity over the price of his season ticket package…
There was that guy who used to hold up the John 3:14 sign or whatever biblical verse he was referencing at NFL games back in the 80’s/ 90’s. Is that kook still out there?
Then very recently I saw at Mets home game a couple of dudes behind home plate who were trying to steal the original The Matt’s identity. One guy was dressed in all orange suit complete with orange Captain & Tennille cap and the other guy in all white exact same outfit. They both had Duck Dynasty beards.Get the MTM legal dept on the blower this is a first class anti-defamation case.
And in other real sports news, the Mets once again achieved critical mass in Metsiness when their heralded closer, Edwin Diaz, sh– the bed while we all slept Wednesday night and blew a sure victory against the hated Dodgers with a 5-run, vomit-inducing ninth inning. If Luis Castillo drops a pop-up and everyone is asleep, does it still send your season into a tailspin?
Game 1 of the NBA finals was last night and The Dude is tired! The Raptors were up by 10 leading into the second half and I went to sleep. Angry Ward’s Warriors capitulated to Drake’s Dinosaurs, 118-109. Wherever Kawhi Leonard ends up next season will be a contender. It won’t be NY
And finally the Blues have knotted up the series with the hated Brad Marcharand and Zdeno Chara led Bruins. Do the nation proud and shut the collective mouths of the fans of Beantown!
Tune in tomorrow for more fun starring Junoir Blaber who management seems intent for me to pick a fight with…
