No Kentucky Derby: Cheesy Bruin’s Horse Sense & Horse Sh!t

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BLOOMINGBURG, NY – I really have to hand it to the crack staff of contributors of this sports website for churning out some top notch efforts on a daily basis without our favorite subjects. Kudos to you all! This is the first weekend in May and yesterday would have been the first Triple Crown race – The Kentucky Derby. I’m putting what horse sense I have left for this post and am relying on my muse for all thoughts concerning The Sport of Kings.  

So the Run For The Roses has been rescheduled for September, which raises a few questions. Aren’t thoroughbreds creatures of habit? I’m positive owners and trainers are the same way in how they bring along their three-year old hopefuls. It’s all about structure, schedules, and workout, all of which has to be adapted/adjusted during the unprecedented sh!t we are dealing with right now. These horses will be four months older when this race is run and don’t ask me if that means anything in racing but I’d imagine a more mature horse performs differently.

Prep races also have had to rescheduled leading up to The Derby. How do you bring along a horse under these circumstances? The reformed gambler in me suggests a long-shot will hit the board because of all the uncertainty. The sport in general is and has been hurting for a while, even before the equine deaths at Santa Anita. The various thoroughbred associations rely heavily on these Triple Crown races and The Breeder’s Cup, so ya gotta figure they’ll have the Breeder’s at a later also, but I’m unsure of this as well. Cheesy_Bruin, Kentucky_Derby, Breeders_Cup, Run For The Roses, Meet_The_Matts, Covid-19, Coronavirus, Rich Perlongo

Wouldn’t it be great to be a horse? Someone feeds you, bathes and grooms you, you get to run around – albeit with a little Latino on your back – and when you retire you get to screw all those fillies lining up for the championship jizz. It’s great to be the king I suppose. For those who suck at racing there is the fate of the glue factory and processing of your remains into a Big Mac but that can’t be too large of a population. In all honesty I’ll stick to going to the track to plop a few bucks on a few races and enjoy the great outdoors as these regal animals run their asses off.

Come back for Junoir Blaber tomorrow.

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About the Author ()

A man amongst men. Cheesy Bruin kicked cancer to the curb - twice. The Cheese Man's a big, tough teddy-bear who survived the Bronx despite being an unabashed Boston Bruins fan and Sargent-At-Arms for Angry Ward's Urban Spur Posse. Nuff said. Doctors have taken most of this throat and had to make him a new tongue from thigh-meat (his own) and still he won't shut up about the Bruins, Cowboys, Pirates and Cleveland Cavaliers. And yes, his kids do love him.

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