BRONX, NY – I’m putting this post to bed well before ballots are finished being counted, I watch Die Hard, and then put myself to bed. 
This has been a very difficult year on many levels for my family and many families. Good news has been hard to find. As I said to a friend the other day, you know it’s been a rough go when “Murder Hornets” just might make your list of OK/cool things that happened. However, the one big thing that just happened is that Steve Cohen is taking over the New York Mets and the Wilpons can at long last take their places on the ash heap of history.
Almost immediately after getting the green light from baseball owners and Mayor Gigantor, Cohen reached out to Mets fans over social media and asked them what kinds of changes/new things they’d like to see. Among suggestions was developing the area around Citi Field to make it more hangout-friendly before and after games to having a Mets Old Timer’s Day, which Cohen reportedly loved. Not wanting to be left out of the spitballing session, here are a few of my own ideas.
Bring Back Schaefer Beer. The Metropolitans and Schaefer were a marriage made in heaven. “The one beer to have when you’re having more than one” is a tagline tailor made for Mets fans. Bring it back and sell 12 oz cans for like 3 bucks. You’d still be making a killing. Maybe every time Diaz blows a lead, give a free cold Schaefer to every fan… even the kids.
Schaefer Beer: The official beer of the New York @Mets. Tommie Agee, Art Shamsky, Gary Gentry, Ron Swoboda and Ed Charles … and Agee’s buying. #MetsRewind #MetsTwitter pic.twitter.com/U5ipyZEGRs
— MetsRewind (@metsrewind) March 6, 2018
Ban Matt McCarthy from Citi Field. Sorry, but he’s bad luck for the club. Remember their last World Series run in 2015? The Mets were really cooking until Short Matt came back from Ireland – and then the wheels fell right the f**k off. This is for the good of everyone. He’s easy to spot, too. Loud suit and loud mouth. Can’t miss him.
Free Tickets with Milk Carton Proof of Purchase. Dairylea milk, as we know it, is no more. But back in the day we would drink it up, even though I hated milk, to collect enough gallon bottle tops and cardboard quart coupons that would get us free Mets tickets. What’s wrong with teaming up with another major NY-based cow concern for a little retro giveaway action?
Music Requests. Never again play “Everybody Clap Your Hands” or “God Bless America,” as they are garbage. It’s simple addition by subtraction. Also, please bring back a real ballpark organ and organist. Jane Jarvis is no longer with us, but her spirit will be with the return of this classic baseball sound.
Keith’s Korner. Give Keith Hernandez a postgame interview show like Ralph Kiner used to have, only Keith and his guest(s) can sip wine and veer hilariously off topic. If he won’t go for it, give the slot to Wally Backman and call it Wally’s World or something. A profanity-laced platform like this could be ratings gold for SNY. Wally interviewing Robinson Cano saying stuff like: “What the f**K were you doing not running out that ground ball in the 5th you lazy sack of sh!t???” would be must-see TV.
OK, there’s a few more ideas to mull over. Thanks for taking over the Mets, Mr. Cohen. Enjoy the honeymoon period!
Come back tomorrow for Buddy Diaz, who has a host of great ideas for James Dolan, most involving playing in traffic.
