TUMBLEWEED, CO – Some teams have great quarterbacks. Some teams have mediocre quarterbacks. Some teams have bad quarterbacks. Only Angry Ward’s Vikings are lucky enough to have the greatest quarterback of all time; Kirk Cousins. I know all of you are scoffing at this assertion. Hear me out.
14 Reasons Kirk Cousins Is The Best Quarterback of All Time
1. Kirk Cousins is third all time in completion percentage. If we say a minimum number of games needs to be played (Watson is currently #1) for statistical relevance he is really #2 behind Drew Brees.
2. Kirk Cousins stat line in 2020 is nearly identical to Russell Wilson. The key difference being that Russell’s “bad offensive line” was ranked #14 by pro football focus and the Vikings line was ranked 26th.
3. Building off number 2; Kirk was sacked 39 times to Russell’s 47 and Deshaun Watson’s 50 sacks taken. The Texans O-line was ranked 23rd. Essentially, Kirk outplayed his protection and is getting no credit for it.
4. Kirk hands down can grow the best/worst Fu Manchu in the NFL. It’s just thick enough to let you know he means business and just thin enough to make you think he is breaking racial boundaries (i.e. Samuel L. Jackson pencil stash).
5. Kirk has never thrown for less than 4000 yards in a complete season. In his six complete seasons he has never thrown more than 13 interceptions in a season. In Tom Brady’s first six complete seasons he threw 78 ints to Cousins’s 65. Tom Brady only threw for 4000 yards once during that time.
6. Kirk is 4-2 on SNF with a completion % of 73.9. Who cares about Monday when you are supposed to play on Sundays?
7. Kirk Cousins head even looks good on Evan Longoria’s wife’s body.
8. Kirk in six complete seasons has four winning seasons. The two losing seasons came when his defense was ranked 28th (2017 WFT) and 29th (2020 Vikings) respectively. In both of those seasons he carried his team to 7-9. The only way a team can be that deficient on defense and win seven games is to employ the greatest QB of all time.
9. Kirk Cousins has the perfect QB Chin. It’s well defined but not too defined. Joe Namath could poop out his chin. Tom Brady has a hole in his. The Manning’s don’t even have one. Part of leadership is a well apportioned chin. This is a tangible intangible.
10. Kirk Cousins has the same number of NFC playoff victories in the Superdome as Tom Brady. Winning in tough environments is all Kirk is about.
11. Remember #5 on the list? Favre 89 ints first six seasons P. Manning 120 ints. E. Manning 88 ints. Kirk Cousins is the greatest QB of all time.
12. Kirk cousins has played with six Walter Payton Man of the Year Award nominees.
13. Kirk Cousins is the son of a preacher man. The only one who could ever Adam Thielen is the son of a preacher man. The only boy who could ever teach Mike Zimmer how to run an offense is the son of a preacher man. Kirk is a coach on the field led being led by the ultimate coach upstairs.
14. Fumbles first six seasons. 59 Cousins, Brady 59, Favre 59. Cousins’ name is kin to greatness.
If it wasn’t for a half billion dollar contract to the number two quarterback on the planet, Patrick Mahomes, I would welcome GOAT Cousins on the Chiefs. I guess I was simply not lucky enough to be blessed with such a player. As a drunk former suitor of my wife said to me….”Ward, You are a lucky lucky lucky lucky man.”
Stats may not be everything to everybody. At least we can all agree he passes the easy-on -the-eyes test.
Speaking of easy to look at, come back tomorrow for Short Matt, but not before leaving your two cents below.