Soggy Ward Saturday: Rangers Wreck Boston, Foligno Boxes a Shark, and Other Moving Stuff

Leaving the "new" Hudson Yards for the Upper West Side wasn't as tough as one might think.

BRONX, NY Alright, alright, alright. It has come to my attention that our very own dazed and contused CEO/sometimes-Saturday-contributor, Matthew McCarthaghey, is busy moving today. How do I know this? Well, I have it on good authority that he was on Social Mayhem’s worst platform yesterday pretty much begging his legion of CTE followers to #jointhefun and help him lug his belongings to his NEW and undisclosed Upper West Side digs… one step ahead of NYC Marshals, I’m sure. And, just in case I missed it, he sent me a text this morning with fun moving pic and a selfie (natch) and politely asked me to pinch-hit. Workin’ too hard can give you a heart attack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack, but I’ll do it anyway. Let’s move it out.

@CheesyBruin pees on the NY Rangers
Cheesy Bruin

Moved to Tears. Last night the New York Rangers absolutely shellacked Cheesy Bruins Team B in Madison Square Gah-den. This particular win had to be an emotional high for Broadway Blues fans this season. I texted with the Cheeseman as it was happening and he “blamed it” on it being the second night of back-to-backs for the Bruins. He also assured me that I should “bet the mother f**king house” (in my case, the mother f**king co-op) on Boston this Sunday in their rematch. What say you, Rangers fans?

MeetTheMovers.com

U-Maul. Sticking with hockey for a sec. Did anyone catch Marcus Foligno, of my red-hot and now Covid-free Minnesota Wild, kick the holy crap out of San Jose’s Nikolai Knyzhov (someone needs to buy a vowel) the other night. It’s very rare to see a hockey fight where one of the participants asks the officials to “please stop this thing.” Respect for Foligno.

Packing it In? I just read a quick bit about Miguel Cabrera of Grinding Ax Hynes’ beloved Detroit Tigers. Seems Miggy is very close to reaching two big baseball milestones this year. He needs just 13 taters to reach 500 and he’s only 134 hits shy of 3,000. A Triple Crown winner in 2012, Cabrera hasn’t been exactly lighting it up (at least by his standards) of late, but it would be great to see him get those knocks and home runs this year. He turns 38 in April and his 8-year deal runs through 2023, but it’s anybody’s guess whether he will play past this year.

Okay, I’m done with today’s light lifting. Please come back tomorrow for a sure-to-be-fired-up Cheesy Bruin. Trust me, he’ll be dropping the gloves.

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About Angry Ward 581 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.