Cheesy Bruin’s Sports Predictions: NFL, WWE, Rugby, WNBA, Cornhole

Jimmy Vaccaro, NCAA, NHL, USMLR, Rangers, Cheesy-Bruin, Meet-The-Matts, Mr Blackwell, WNBA, NHL

BLOOMINGBURG, NYBeautiful weather we’re having, isn’t it? Okay, enough of the small talk. There are some questions to be asked today, and as per my NFL prognostication skills, I’ll make predictions based on these queries. Let’s get straight to it.

There was some breaking sports news this Thursday that needs to be addressed herein. MTM’s very own Kerrygold-walking-billboard and “connoisseur of all things bacon” – (it’s all about the fat, baby!) – JG Clancy, confessed to watching a complete REGULAR SEASON hockey game between the Bruins & Islanders. The pillars of the Colosseum are even more unsteady as a result. Did he stumble upon it three times like Joe Biden up a staircase? It’s not the 1980’s. There was no Cheers or Cosby Show or Hill Street Blues on NBC to keep Clancy from hockey. We here at MTM need to know the motivation, please!

Here’s the burning question: As a result of this abnormality, what’s to come from our San Diego State/Oakland A’s fan? Here are some television viewing options to entertain: WWE Wrestling, Rugby (games without with Short Matt broadcasting, of course), WNHL, WNBA, American Ninja

Pro wrestling is never, and I mean never, better than our youth. It gets progressively worse with each passing generation. Every script, acrobatic, and choreograph has already been exhausted.

Speaking of exhausted… I’m flipping through the channels the other night and found there’s such a thing as the Woman’s National Hockey League and here’s the catch… it’s televised! Soon enough, the hockey world will be treated to pay equality, the same way the WNBA is trying for comparable salaries to the men’s league  – whose product also sucks. Fifty percent of lemonade stand sales will never be comparable to the same portion from a beer kiosk. If any league is raking in revenue then it should be shared to players. BUT… I can’t believe ANY rival (see WHA, WFL, USFL, XFL, CBA) or woman’s league ever bringing in the money the way the sports standard league to justify pay equality.

As we have all read in JG Clancy’s comments, the man hasn’t responded with his usual “Rugby? What’s rugby?” in a very long time. I do miss it. With the Thursday lack of usual judgment, rugby can’t be far from viewing interest. This option is the longest shot on the board. Jimmy Vaccaro in Vegas has set the odds at 50-1 and I think it should be higher than that but the only thing preventing the change is the possibility of getting our man Clancy drunk on Blue Moon, slipping him a mickey, and feeding him assorted meats to impair his ability.

Cornhole Championships are a sport so I’m guessing American Ninja can be labeled likewise. This is the odds on favorite. Who can’t see jg offering if not screaming commentary and critique at the tv while participants make their way through the course. There was nothing like “the gauntlet” portion of American Gladiators back in the day but I digress. There’s only one solution Jimmy Boy and one I give to everybody…

WATCH MORE HOCKEY!

Well under the word count for today, that’s all I got but come back tomorrow for Buffalo’s favorite resident Junoir Blaber.

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About Cheesy Bruin 476 Articles
A man amongst men. Cheesy Bruin kicked cancer to the curb - twice. The Cheese Man's a big, tough teddy-bear who survived the Bronx despite being an unabashed Boston Bruins fan and Sargent-At-Arms for Angry Ward's Urban Spur Posse. Nuff said. Doctors have taken most of this throat and had to make him a new tongue from thigh-meat (his own) and still he won't shut up about the Bruins, Cowboys, Pirates and Cleveland Cavaliers. And yes, his kids do love him.