NEW YORK, NY – Now that all the balloons have been deflated, the floats are back being packed up in Hoboken and hangovers (Different Matt and Cam James) dominate the American landscape, yours truly will help pass the morning with Black Friday Sports Stories: Who is Thankful?
Jared Goff
Here’s a guy that can’t be the least bit thankful, after being traded from Los Angeles to Detroit. Have you ever been to Detroit? It’s not nice. Have you ever been to Detroit in the winter? It is hell. This guy went from a very good team, wintering in Southern California, to one of the sh!ttiest cities in the USA – with awful weather. Meanwhile, Matt Stafford is doing backwards somersaults on the beaches of Malibu. Stafford, unlike Goff, is thankful.
Buffalo Bills Fans
A collective “Phew” could be heard from Cheektowaga to Tonowanda to Williamsville to Orchard Park. Bills fans are very thankful today. They are mostly thankful not just for Josh Allen, but more so for Trevor Simian. Holy sh!t is does that guy suck. Archie Manning would have been a better choice to lead the Saints last night. New Orleans is in a weird situation – they have a talented roster but are they in the present or looking toward the future? Sure, their first choices under center were unavailable but geez, Kaepernick would have been a better choice. Just sayin’…
Kirk Cousins
The embattled Minnesota Vikings QB keeps our Angry Ward – our resident Purple People Eaters‘ fan – on his toes. For that, MTM readers are thankful. Rumor is Kirk is too, so it fits the theme here.
NY Giants Fans
Yours truly is part of this group and speak for all when I say we are thankful for the Derek Carr and his Las Vegas Raiders. Further, we are thankful that Cowboys‘ fans are hungover and unhappy today. Yes, that’s just bitter, hurtful thinking. NOT! It’s Dallas and Dallas sucks!!!
You
You all are likely thankful that we’re stopping there. You’re welcome.
