NEW YORK, NY – With Angry Ward transitioning to Hospital Ward after penis reduction surgery (all hands on deck), Management handled me the ball today. Filling the shoes of an automatic Meet The Matts Hall of Fame inductee, with the prime-time pressure of mid-week, left me no choice but to talk about the Hall of Fame… Major League Baseball’s Hall of Fame.
It’s about that time of the year when the Hall of Fame hopes to induct new players. This years voting results is on January 24th and the theories of who should get in have begun. The so-called baseball geniuses, who wear their cheap suits and Marshall’s footwear, are at it again with their debates. The scabs on my scalp are what I think of their choices.
I continuously scratch my head when I hear some of these names, who are far from being immortals, thrown around. Billy Wagner, Scott Rolen, Todd Helton, Bobby Abreu, and a few others are simply not Hall of Famers. To even put them in the same class as Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, and Ted Williams is moronic.
Do these talking heads from the tube know what a legend is? To have a name like Jacoby Ellsbury on the ballot, only because he’s been retired for five years, is a travesty. The Boston Red Sox are still laughing at the NY Yankees for signing him to that ridiculous contract. The only memory Ellsbury left me was his disappearance from the lineup.
For me it comes down to this, a player that puts up huge numbers in back of his baseball card, and who has left me at least three lifetime memories at the mention of his name gets a plaque in Cooperstown. Todd Helton not only has left me nothing to think about, he also would be unrecognizable if he stood next to me.
First time candidates Jhonny Peralta, nothing, Jered Weaver, surfboard dude, Jayson Werth, long hair, scruffy beard, no lasting memories. Then you got the returnees, like Andruw Jones, Gary Sheffield, Alex Rodriguez, and Manny Ramirez, who all have left memories along with crazy numbers, but also one stigma, Steroid Suspicions or Suspensions!
So these experts who talk about Jimmy Rollins and Billy Wagner, as if it’s their time, need to wake up. The fact is that Wagner’s total votes of 51% in his eighth year, and Rollins’ 9.4% in his second year just won’t add up to that 75% needed to get in.
So get up from behind that desk you so-called baseball scholars, and make your way to Marshalls. Their after-Christmas red-tag sale is going on right now.
Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, has ever failed social media & taking pictures etc more than Arod??????????????? pic.twitter.com/N2vH4QOszZ
— KFC (@KFCBarstool) January 10, 2023