NEW YORK, NY – I’m writing this on a Tuesday afternoon, just a few hours before the New York Mets and New York Yankees renew their now incredibly-stale, super-played-out inter-league “rivalry” in Queens. (SPOILER ALERT: Scherzer sucked and Mets blew it) Honestly, I’d rather talk about JG Clancy’s Oakland A’s rising from the dead and tearing off a 6-game winning streak—even beating the Rays last night—but here we are. I’ve already railed, on many occasions, about how inter-league play ruined the only good All Star game in sports, but (at least in New York) you’re still expected to care about this Yankees/Mets crap. Here are some of the lowlights.
Doc Gooden Throws No-Hitter for the Yankees. Maybe not as bad as Tom Seaver getting his only career no-no pitching for the Reds, but still an atrocity before God. Even worse, it came against my Mariners. I need to take a shower just writing this.
Shawn Estes Fails to Hit Roger Clemens. One of the most epic fails of all time. Clemens didn’t just deserve some garden-variety plunking, he warranted a 99 mph fastball right in the middle of his stupid, sweaty, steroid-inflated face. The Mets just never get it right, and Estes should have been shot out of a cannon and into Flushing Bay the minute he blew this assignment.
Elliott Maddox. In my mind, the only guy who should have ever been allowed to play for BOTH the Mets and Yankees is Elliott Maddox. No one else. He just seemed to oddly fit on both clubs.
John Sterling. He’s as good at judging foul balls as he is at differentiating between lazy fly balls and monster home runs. Love the trifecta, “OW! OW! OW!” Still, I give him credit for finishing the game.
To be fair, Sterling’s blooper not near on the same level as this idiot, who got 100% first-ballot votes in being unanimously elected into the Mets Hall of Shame.
Luis Castillo. The Hindenburg of game-ending gaffes. Oh the humanity!
The Mayor’s Trophy Game. I’m guessing most of you don’t remember the Mayor’s Trophy Game, but it was an annual in-season exhibition game between the Yanks and Mets, and it was kinda fun. Again, these teams never played each other back then, so this game was a bonafide New York novelty. It came to an end in the early 1980s, like most good things. Anyway, it was fun while it lasted, and better than sitting out at tonight’s game listening to a bunch of idiots scream back and forth at each other: “LET’S GO YANKEES! YANKEES SUCK!”
Since no one asked, and I don’t care anyway, my prediction for Tuesday night’s game is as follows: Either the Mets score 5-6 runs and Max Scherzer gets lit up, or Max Scherzer pitches really well and the Mets score 2-or-fewer runs. This is how it usually goes. Guess we’ll see in the morning. As always, whatever happens, blame de Blasio.
Come back tomorrow for Buddy Diaz, who is probably starting to realize that there is no window anytime soon for the Knicks to compete for an NBA title.