PHILADELPHIA, PA – Showing a clear lack of judgement and self-respect, I watched yesterday’s battle between the Phillies and New York Mets. The latter have become the team one wonders how they will manage to lose, rather then how they will win. That’s the difference between the ’23 Mutts and ’22 Amazins. What really stood out, aside from everyone doing cartwheels over Max Scherzer getting through six innings, was the s-h-i-t seasons the big-bucks-boppers on each team were having. That gets us to the headline: MLB All-Star Game: Overpaid Anemic Team – which we’ll get to in a minute.
RESEARCH/CONCLUSION
Considering the struggles of many high-salaried teams, yours truly took a deep dive into the Mariana Trench of MLB statistics and one thing one was clear when we submerged: Batting Average does indeed matter as per Wins and Losses. Easy, Big Ben Whitney, I’m not saying it matters in all instances. Hell, the Stanks are hitting .228, yet have a winning record. Further, the beer-goggle-wearing Brewers are 2 games north of .500 with a sobering .226 average. Another exception to this shipwreck discovery, is that the Nationals are hitting .261, good for 6th best in all of baseball, yet suck moose balls. Only JG Clancy’s A’s and Cheesy Bruins Royals have less wins.
The Mets and Phillies are in different places, though. Any NYM win is now news. That’s a bad sign. Meanwhile, the Phillies are over .500 despite a horrific start, losing key everyday players to injury and having big names slumping mightily. The guess here is that they get healthy, start hitting and roar into the postseason. The Amazins have had their offensive nucleus in place, but simply are good at the dish. A .240 team average would be okay if they were driving in runs and knocking the ball out of the park. They are a mediocre 13th and 12th in those categories. That is unacceptable for a large market, highest salaried side. Both mediocre is the new norm with a slew of over-priced, under performing stars.
NOTE: Eduardo Escobar is hitting .500 with the Angels. That’s a miracle.
Yet we digress… Here’s what you came here for:
MLB All-Star Game: Overpaid Anemic Team
C) James McCann, Orioles: .194 AVG, $12,150,000 (part-time work!)
1B) Max Muncey, Dodgers: .181 AVG, 18 HRs, $13,500,000
2B) Javier Baez, Tigers: .232 AVG, 5 HRs, $22,000,000 (played 2B on Mets, so he qualifies)
3B) Anthony Rendon, Angels: .248 AVG, (not bad) but 1 HR & 21 RBI for $38,000,000!!!
SS) Francisco Lindor, Mets: .222 AVG, $32,000,000 (Is it too soon to say “bust?”)
LF) Kyle Schwarber, Phillies: .182 AVG, 18 HRs, $20,000,000
CF) Cody Bellinger, Cubs: .253 AVG, 7 HRs, $12,150,000 (Like Turner below, shell of self)
RF) Kris Bryant, Rockies: .268 AVG, 7HRs, $28,000,000 (too little for too much at Coors)
DH) Giancarlo Stanton, Stanks: .187 AVG, 6 HR, $32,000,000 (Jeter’s best trade)
SUB) Trea Tuner, Phillies: .244 AVG $27,272,727 (failing miserably in comparison to himself)
SUB) Josh Donaldson, Stanks: .125 AVG, 6 HR $23,000,000
BONUS: Here’s a glimpse at my Overpaid Pitching Rotation:
RHP: Jacob deGreed: $38,000,000.
THANK YOU, TEXAS!!!
Please feel free to rip this to shreds and give your own picks.
