Big Ben: Disasters – Giants Debacle, Aaron Rodgers and Dominguez Go Down

This man (not Aaron Rodgers) must die...
This man (not Aaron Rodgers) must die...

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ – Hey guys. I just got back from my annual darkness retreat. How’d the Giants and Jets do? The Giants lost 40 to 0? Excuse me while I hug a porcupine and jump into a barrel of vinegar. The Jets won but Rodgers is likely out for the season? Excuse me while I castrate myself with a rusty cheese grater. What’s that? Jasson Dominguez has a torn UCL? Excuse me while I walk through a glass door and then jump in a pool of hungry sharks.

Man plans, Fate laughs.

Giant Debacle

I’m trying to find some space in between the apoplectic Giants’ fans and the “it’s only one game” crew. This just in, the Giants’ O-Line might not be there quite yet.

Ben Whitney

The Cards game next week is already a must win, because the 49ers and Bosa in week 3 is a guaranteed loss. What an absolute disaster on Sunday night.

There ain’t much hope against at least the 49ers, Cowboys again, and the Eagles twice. That’s six guaranteed losses and they probably need to win about 9 of the other 11 to make the playoffs. Rough times already.

Jet Down

I think that no matter how you feel about Rodgers, that injury really sucks. You had to want to see how that would have played out. And with what the Jets showed on D, and with the plays made by Breece Hall and Garrett Wilson, their ceiling might have been pretty high.

The Jets have enough talent to compete with Zach if he can be just decent. He made a few plays but it’s clear they don’t trust him. Did he pick up enough from Rodgers to be s functional QB?

Is Tom Brady bored yet? Imagine Brady and Rodgers commiserating on the sideline.  They’d need to build a goat pen. Who else is available? Matty Ice? Phil Rivers? Kaepernick? Fitzmagic?

What a brutal development, the Jets are cursed. I think the only solution is to get four green trucks, driven by Joe Namath, Darrelle Revis, Mark Gastineau, and Wayne Chrebet on the field at the Meadowlands. Tie a chain to each of Fireman Ed’s arms and legs and have them hit the gas and drive in opposite directions. He must be sacrificed. It’s the only way.

If you watched Hard Knocks, you had to feel good for Xavier Gipson. The undrafted free agent who beat the odds to make the team came up big. What a return.

If the Jets had lost that game this season would already have a Mets Yankees feel to it. Maybe the Jets can still make the playoffs and that was just a giant aberration. Don’t give up yet, people. We need something to root for around here.

Bonus Yankees Disaster

Jasson Dominguez was the one good thing the Yankees had going this year. Now he’s probably gonna miss a big chunk of next season. What a kick in the nuggets.

Fun times! Come back tomorrow for Angry Ward. 

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About Ben Whitney 402 Articles
Ben Whitney comes from journalistic stock. Aside from his brothers, rumor has that his great-great grandfather was the youngest brother of Eli Whitney and covered the earliest "rounders" games. Big Ben is also another New York Rugby Club player/pal of Different Matt, Short Matt and Junoir Blaber. He likes film noir discussions, has twin girls and took up ice hockey after retiring from rugby.