Angry Ward Wednesday: Minnesota Cans a Hockey Coach, NFL Teams That Must Be Stopped at All Costs

Dean Evason, who hates being confused with Dean Jones (far right)

NEW YORK, NY – It’s November 29th, and baby it’s cold outside. Today’s also the day they light the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center here in NYC, so I’ll (hopefully) be skeedaddling home from work early, because my office is way too close to the action. Let’s jump in on some sports stuff.

Wild Fire. This means pretty much nothing to anyone, even me, but the Minnesota Wild just fired their head coach, Dean Evason. I only mention this because yet another delightful quirk of #NHL hockey is that you can fire a coach pretty much any time during the season (even right before the playoffs) and there’s a legit chance the team will respond. This does not apply to the other major pro sports anywhere near as much. It’s like deciding to go with a rookie goalie in the playoffs. Ya never know, sometimes it works out. Anyway, he’s being replaced by a middle-aged bald white guy. Anyone who writes for this site knows that = Born Leader. LOL! I also love the quote Minnesota GM Bill Guerin (you remember him) gave when asked about the firing: “You can’t trade 23 players.” Classic.

Angry Ward & brother cnc63???

NF-Hell Playoff Picture. Don’t worry, I’m not going to start running down who’s in and who’s got a shot and who’s still lurking scenarios, because that’s ridiculous. Here’s just a short list of teams I would rather not see come playoff time. And, yes, I fully understand that some will be there no matter what and some definitely won’t.

Let’s get started with the obvious, the Dallas Cowboys. Don’t know if you picked up on this, but I’m not a fan of that team, its coach, its owner, and pretty much all of its fans. Yeah, they’re almost certainly getting in, but maybe you need that one team you despise just to keep you engaged when your team doesn’t make it. Nah! I’d rather eat Styrofoam peanuts.

Next, the Green Bay Packers. Screw the Packers! I thought they were dead in the water but they are anything but. If they manage to beat the offensively-anemic Super Bowl champs Sunday night, the blood will start to boil. They have a ridiculously easy schedule the rest of the way. I can’t even think about it. Or talk about it. Shaddup already, Ward! They must not make it.

New York Jets. Not concerned. New England Patriots. Just made myself laugh. Pittsburgh Steelers.

Any other team from the AFC North is fine by me, but not the Steelers. Great defense, but worst 7-4 team ever. Negative point differential. Their entire receiving corps is most likely on serious anti-depressants.

Denver Broncos. Don’t talk to me about letting Russell Wilson cook. At this point he’s an AI bot in a football uniform: bland, competent, and occasionally subject to hallucinations. More importantly, f**k Sean Payton with a Mile High ski lift full o’ snow boards.

Buddy_Diaz as Elf, Meet_The_Matts
Buddy Diaz and… Buddy

This seems like as good a place as any to end this family-friendly installment. Be sure to come back tomorrow for Buddy “The Elf” Diaz.

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About Angry Ward 737 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.