GOD’S WAITING ROOM, FL – It’s the day before Thanksgiving and this would be a perfect time for a mail-it-in Annual Turkey (or in Short Matt’s case, Tofurkey) Awards or some such cookie cutter exercise. But, I’ll leave that low-hanging fruit for someone else. Instead I’d like to explore whether there comes a point in one’s existence where wising-up just ain’t gonna happen. Let’s take a look at a few examples.
The New York Jets. When you’ve been doing dumb as long and as perfectly as the Jets have, it’s very doubtful that schtick will change. And why would it? When you’ve got a moron owner, a gaggle of front-office “yes men” doofuses, a revolving door of over-matched GMs, and a bottomless pit of bumbling coaches to trot out there, you’ve got the secret recipe for one of the great comedies of all time. You’ve also got the perfect audience for that comedy. Jets fans are a rare crowd indeed. One of the few demos that felt Married with Children was too cerebral.
Todd Monken. I recently took this Offensive Coordinator a$$ clown to task for his misuse (or non-use) of Derrick Henry in the Baltimore Ravens offense. Well, guess what? Monday night Henry got over 20 carries, rushed for 140 yards, and the Ravens beat the Chargers. Has Monken changed his stupid ways? Somehow I doubt it. But for Baltimore’s players, coaches, and his own job security, he’d better get smart and soon.
The New York Giants. As has been pointed out on this site continually, the New York Giants have been an abject disaster for a long time now. They are saved, however, by simply not being the Jets. Giants ownership has proven in the past that it can occasionally make wise football decisions. While Wellington Mara and George Young are long gone, I think there’s still hope that the G-Men will eventually get it right again.
Jake Paul Fans. Too stupid for words. There’s no cure for these chuckleheads.
The Mighty Columbia Lions. This past Saturday the Columbia Lions, one of the most beleaguered and bewilderingly bad teams in college football history, clinched a share of the 2024 Ivy League title. They did so by beating Cornell in their home finale and getting a little help from Yale, who beat Harvard. However they got there, this was arguably Columbia’s most successful season in my lifetime, as their last Ivy title predated my birth, by a number of years. Congrats, Lions!
Happy Thanksgiving, one and all. Hope my pal JG Clancy gets his roast chicken. Come back tomorrow for Buddy Diaz, who will surely have something to say about a former Giants running back now making a very strong case for MVP with his Eagles.
