NEW YORK, NY – Damn the torpedoes, Ladies & Germs, there is no time for L-tryptophan and D-tryptophan hangovers. It’s time to join your fellow fans, who have been on line since 2AM, for your Black Friday Sports Specials: Drastic Sales For Players, Staff!
MLB Managers: You find no better deal anywhere than this one, particularly for a guy with major market, high-pressure managing experience! Never mind that he couldn’t manage his way into some “play time ” in a women’s prison with a fist full of pardons! We present Mickey Callaway! This discount is so HUGE, you only have to pay shipping! All sales are final, however. He’s yours to keep!
NFL Wide Receivers: This is one you CANNOT NOT BUY! Double negatives aside – there’s irony – he’s an ultra-talented, physical baller with a lot to prove! Sure, he’s been dismissed from duty by three NFL squads in 8 months for behavior that makes Ray Rice look almost respectable. But let’s not get “caught” in the past, as this dynamic pass-catcher is a… catch! We give you Antonio Brown, the best NFL wide receiver NOT dropping important passes… at an AMAZING $17 – a mere dollar for his last uniform number!
NFL Head Coach: Out west, the San Francisco 49ers are thriving and an integral part of their success was also one of the best linebackers to ever set foot on a NFL playing field! Who is this legend that 49ers fans also mention when asked about keys to their team’s turnaround?! 
Why it’s none other than Mike Singletary, the bespectacled Chicago Bears legend! Granted, Frisco fired him nearly a decade ago but his influence lingered for years after the fact. That’s an impact! How can forget when he wished he “had more coaching etiquette” for strategies like intentionally droppig his pants while giving a speech, to illustrate just how poorly the 49ers had played! And now that that Memphis Express are defunct (and owe the city money), Coach Mike is once again looking for a head coaching job! And get this; you can name your price! WOW!
And there you have it! Leave your comments below and don’t miss these Black Friday Sports Specials!
