Angry Ward Wednesday: KD, The Cup(s) and The Subway Series

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BRONX, NY – It’s already closing in on 9 pm on Tuesday night, and I just don’t have the time or energy to be clever or wax poetic… but am I ever those things? Instead, I’m just gonna let fly with the main sports stuff just about everybody’s talking about, and just be done with it. Here goes.

Durant. As everyone knows by now, Kevin Durant most likely tore his Achilles playing in Game 5 the other night with the Warriors facing elimination in the #NBAFinals. Now all everyone wants to talk about is who’s fault it is. And I’m here to spit back: It really doesn’t f**king matter. It sucks that Durant got hurt. I’m sure that there was enough discussion between him, his team, his teammates, his agent, his family, prior to to his decision to play, to write a very boring book. But what’s done is done. He has to move on and get healthy, his team has to move on and lose the NBA Championship to Toronto, and all the TV talking heads need to move on and start claiming they were right about something else in hindsight. I will say this though, I totally agree with Boogie Cousins take about how much the players care about each other (maybe in all sports) because how little the owners, fans, and press care about them and their well-being. They really are viewed as replaceable gladiators here to perform in front of mostly rich white guys while lining the pockets of more rich white guys. I will never again question a player holding out and saying, “Look, I just gotta get paid,” and “I need to think about my family.” It’s all true. Anyway, I hope KD heals up and comes back better than ever, for whatever team he chooses.

Stanley Cup Finals Game 7. Tonight’s the night. Even if you’re not a big hockey fan, I implore you to watch Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals, with the Bruins hosting the Blues. You know when someone tells you to check out a “Blood Moon” or a solar eclipse and you don’t think about it and just do it? Do the same with this game tonight, whether you have a rooting interest (Cheesy Bruin wants Boston everyone else on this site wants St. Louis) or not. I sincerely hope it lives up to the hype.

USWNT. The US Women’s National Team absolutely blitzed Thailand Tuesday in their World Cup opener, to the tune of 13-0! Save some for the knockout rounds, please! I got tickets for the Quarterfinals!

Mets vs. Yanks. The umpteenth version of the Mets/Yanks subway series is upon us, and by now this match-up is as stale as that bag of Fig Newtons in your Irish grandmother’s cupboard. Fans that are still paying top dollar to see these two teams play each other are suckers. Do you really think there’s some kind of legitimate city rivalry here? It’s all in your head. The Yankees only care about Boston, and the Mets only care about not dying and, to a lesser degree, the Phillies and Braves. Still, the Yanks have some good young players and the Mets have Polar Bear Pete Alonso and Jeff “Squirrel” McNeil. As I write this, the Mets are trying to get the doubleheader split in the Bronx with Jason Vargas on the bump. Alonso has gone yard at the Billy Crystal Bandbox and the Mets have knocked The Big Maple out in the 3rd inning. Let’s see if it holds. [MTM Edit Staff Spoiler alert: It did]

Come back tomorrow for Buddy Diaz, who could homer at Yankee Stadium with Bette Davis’ physique and a Wiffle Ball bat.

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Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.

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