Mets Management To Mets Fans: Drop Dead!

NEW YORK, NY – With apologies to Lieutenant Dan, Lieutenant Weinberg, Major Harris, Captain Munnerlyn, and all other military personnel who’ve honored this country through brave service and selflessness, I give you…Mets GM Sandy Alderson.

You ain’t got no legs at all, Lt Dan. Like Mets Fans.

Lieutenant Dan you remember had a generational legacy in which every “Dan” in his family had given his life in battle. Same thing with Lt. Weinberg.  Bravely, he sat there in court while Colonel Nathan Jessup dressed him down and questioned his manhood.

Which brings us to Sandy Alderson, US Marine (Ret) whose leadership skills have proven to be closer to those of Jeffy Wilpon during his ill-fated one semester run as Class Treasurer at Roslyn High School.  I’m sure Sandy served his country with honor and distinction, but while many Marines enter private life as true leaders around whom others gather and follow, Sandy…not so much.

The Sandy Man has maintained a strange, disconnected posture as GM.  Any instance in which he’s been asked for information concerning team direction, player evaluation or even simple “state of the team” questions, Sandy has somehow responded as an “outsider.” He is the top Baseball man in the organization yet he views himself as an uninvolved, uninterested bystander to the carnage that grows under his watch on a daily basis.  He carries on as though he’s on a 5-year “pass” in which the unwashed masses of New York will absolve him of all sins as his interminable “plan” comes to fruition.

Crazy? Yes. But that Tom Cruise is handsome!

When Sandy awoke from his latest long slumber, he decided that 3 months of watching Ike Davis was enough. Those with a vested interest (Mets fans) saw Davis utterly over-matched on a daily basis but Sandy wasn’t moved to action until the futility left even him without a choice That’s what an embarrassing 5 straight losses to the 2nd worst team in Baseball, the Marlins, will do.  When questioned about his decision to demote Ike, he responded in no uncertain terms, that Davis’s colossal failure was on Davis himself… and Davis alone.  This is a player issue. Not a staff issue, was Sandy’s exact quote and with it, he formally declared both his innocence and his distance from messy issues like winning games and building a team.  By “staff issue” Sandy made clear that he was not to be judged; that he had done his part-and done it with distinction. So had Terry Collins and his Coaches.

Sandy Alderson 1Typically, when an organization struggles badly, you’ll hear the head of operations declare the usual “we’ve all failed, we all have to do better, this is a top to bottom failure,” etc. Sandy, however, views himself as the hired gun placed here by Bud Selig. He views himself as nothing more than caretaker and will not dirty his hands or sully his fake, overrated reputation by actually accepting a morsel of responsibility for the fact that the team has gotten steadily worse over his time.

But he has support!  Support from Bud Selig, The Geat Enabler.  Support from the Wilpons, who wrote the book on unaccountability… And support from a National Media, who view this mess from afar as “poor ole’ Sandy” doing his best under horrific financial circumstances.  Yet the allegedly venerable, seasoned Alderson has toiled only in places like Oakland, San Diego and the Dominican Republic. Like most players and executives, Sandy surely knew not what to expect of a prominent position in the brightest of all lights – in New York City. But his track record screams small market, with no accountability to the 1 or 2 press members covering those teams.  Wilpon-Lost

Like so many players who’ve been swallowed whole by New York-sized expectations and pressures, Sandy has been devoured by a fan base as energized with vitriol and impatience that now smells blood in the water.  This ain’t Oakland, Sandy. You are badly out of place here, and if you had even a shred of honor left from your days as a Marine, you’d stand up, accept responsibility for your incompetence and explain yourself.

You can hide behind 17-yearold draft picks for only so long. With apologies to Col Jessup, New Yorkers can handle the truth.

Angry Ward tomorrow… And we’re wishing Grote2DMax a speedy recovery!

*Apologies to all on behalf of the MTM Edit Team, who didn’t get Fake Sandy Alderson’s brilliant bashing up on-time, despite it being ready. They were trapped on a United Airlines flight back from Houston, either on the tarmac, tossed like a cork in a tsunami of turbulence or circling LGA for an hour before the pilot damned the torpedoes and nearly killed us all at 1:30 am by closing his eyes and banging us on the runway in sideways rain and choking fog.

Share Button
About Fake Sandy Alderson 175 Articles
Big Al Sternberg/Fake Sandy Alderson is from a not-so-nice part of Queens. But through grit and elbow-grease finds himself living on Long Island with his bride and twin 12-year-old sons. He is a sports encyclopedia... and a loose cannon. In fact, Michael Baron of blocked him on Twitter. You can find The Blocked One's Tweets here: @AldersonFake