Angy Ward Wednesday: Mr Met Tweets, New Bacon Eats and Jen Selter’s Sweet A$$ets…

Tweet the Mets!

“Ms. Selter is young, lives in the greatest city in the world and has the most sought after backyard in the five boroughs.” –Angry Ward

BRONX, NY – I know we may still yet have some snow in the forecast, but I have fully made the move to Spring-Summer mode. The sun setting after six and a couple of days of temps reaching 50 have me putting away the winter gear, dipping into the t-shirt and shorts reserve, and abandoning bourbon for Gosling’s rum. It’s on. The other day I even lingered on a Spring Training game between the Royals and Brewers simply because a KC pitcher named Bueno was pitching to a Brewer named Diaz. How do the announcers not even mention this? Guess it’s spring training for those guys as well. Anyway, here’s some other stuff that’s going on.

Tweet the Mets!
Tweet the Mets!

Social METia. Not sure how many of you out there know this, but there’s finally someone on twitter worth following. Mr. Met has joined the keyboard-clicking masses and will undoubtedly become the biggest 140-character character out there. Already he’s had some spirited exchanges with the likes of Bernie Brewer and Royals’ mascot Sluggerrr. The latter of the two got a tad cheeky and suggested he might have once had something going with Mrs. Met. Personally, I’m not sure when she made the transition from Lady Met to Mrs. Met. Did my wedding invitation get lost in the mail? Whatever the case, I am looking forward to some hard-hitting straight talk from a guy who has seen and done it all.

The Bacon Insider. It’s official, I think I’ve finally found my bacon saturation point. The other night I saw a Jack in the Box commercial for the same food item, The Bacon Insider, around six times. What’s The Bacon Insider, you ask? It’s a hamburger with bacon bits in the patty, hickory-smoked bacon strips on top of the burger, and topped with lettuce and tomato (what are they doing here?), american cheese, and bacon mayo.  In short, if these things start selling we could be looking at a bacon shortage. I’m just surprised that they failed to infuse the bun with bacon. Fumble. You eat even one of these things and you’re going to need a good personal trainer as well as a really good cardiologist. I can help with the former.

Jen Selter Mania. I’m a little slow on the uptake when it comes to things that are trending on the web, so please excuse me being late to the phenomenon that is Jen Selter. This comely fitness model/trainer has made a name for herself by posting pictures of perfect posterior on Instagram, Twitter and pretty much everywhere you can imagine. There are haters out there giving her hell for making a buck off of her butt, but I am completely behind her in this endeavor. You play the hand that you’re dealt. I am bald, cantankerous and have virtually no discernible skills, so I have been writing for this site for over five years. It’s my lot in life.

Turn style.
Selter’s Subway Series

Ms. Selter is young, lives in the greatest city in the world and has the most sought after backyard in the five boroughs. She’s making good money off product endorsements and fitness videos and she’s just getting started. I, for one, would like to recommend that she become strength and conditioning coach for the New York Mets. I’m serious. The Mets have had nothing but rotten injury luck the past few years and something tells me that JS will keep players on the field and put butts in the seats at Citi. Hopefully Mr. Met backs me up on this one on Twitter.

That’s all for today. Come back tomorrow for the Podcast Squadcast that is Meet The Matts Radio.

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About Angry Ward 748 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.