Why The Mets Will Win the World Series

Mark Ruffalo and Elizabeth WarrenNEW YORK, NY – With the frost on our window panes beckoning a warmer clime (and Junoir Blaber being MIA with his column), happy baseball visions are dancing in our heads. What are these visions? Why they’re visions of the 2015 New York Mets winning the World Series.  Here’s what needs to happen for these fluffy orange and blue dreams to come true:

Bryce Harper needs a deep ankle sprain. Look, we want no permanent injury to befall this NL East Beast of a Player – but we need him to miss significant time in physical therapy. His absence from the lineup will off-set Ian Desmond having the season of his life in his walk year and keep the Nats from running away with the pennant. We’re also giddy that Adam LaRoche won’t be hitting bombs over the Pepsi Porch every other AB, as he’s now on the White Sox. Phew.

Madison Bumgarner gets tired of winning. We’re hoping for a little ennui from the Best Pitcher in Baseball. In fact, we’re counting on it. Perhaps Barry Zito touches his arm and some of his Mojo disappears. Or maybe he befriends Mark Ruffalo, who convinces him to help get Elizabeth Warren to run for President.

matt-harvey-kissesMatt Harvey and Travis d’Arnaud need to live up to their expectations, if not an inaccurately listed height. The Harve simply has to walk the walk that he has talked from the 2013 All-Star game on. It’s time for him to actually justify being on Jumbo-Trons at Knicks and Rangers games and talking about himself – or a product he’s hawking – on sports shows, by pitching his way into the hearts and minds of the longing Flushing Faithful. If he does that, the other pitchers will follow suit…. As for Little d, we need him to be pushing for an All-Star roster spot behind the dish. We won’t ask, however, that he live up to being 6’2″ – which is what the Mets have listed him as.

Mike Cuddyer and Curtis Granderson to earn their salaries. This novel idea, doing what you are paid to do, has been somewhat dismissed at Citi Field since… well, since it was opened. How about .255 with 25 homers and 20 SBs from Grandy and .290 with 15 homers from Mikey Coors? And this is contingent on leaving the left-handed Paul Bunyon, the gentle giant that is Lucas Duda, alone to play first base.

-The SNY Brass hire us to bring a little levity to the party. Fans, players and Management need to be loose and enjoy coming to the park. We think we can help accomplish that.

With all of the above in place, the New York Mets will win the 2015 World Series.

Please feel free to comment below and come back tomorrow for Cheesy Bruin.

P.s… Happy Birthday to our Franchise, our Matt Harvey, Angry Ward.

 

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About Matt McCarthy 292 Articles
Matt McCarthy, is the MTM founder and consequently wears many hats: Director, Editor, Writer, Web guy and Podcaster... Also known as Short Matt, he's also a two-bit actor, voice-over pro, rugby, baseball and ice hockey player and likes hazelnut coffee with rice milk, while strolling in the sand, listening to foreign films... Matt also moonlights on MTM spin-off, RugbyWrapUp.com, often wearing a wig and glasses while butchering a Kiwi accent.