NFL Free Agency: Revis, Suh and MacGyver! Plus, The Fred & Terry Show

BLUE BAY DINER, FRESH MEADOWS, NY “In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire… the A-Team.”

Nothing short of finding Hannibal and B.A. Baracus will sort out all of the mishugas we have going on during this odd time of the sports year. And if you’re talking “soldiers of fortune” then how about the NFL’s version.

What the hell is the “Legal Tampering period?” And why is everyone walking around discussing this as though it’s been part of Football’s lexicon since the days of the late great Doug Kotar? The “LTP” is the seemingly arbitrary 48 hours before NFL Free Agency actually begins.
suhTeams are permitted to negotiate with prospective players but are prohibited from agreeing or signing an actual contract. The “LTP” ends at 4:00 today, but it was during this period, that the “Homicide with 2 legs,” aka Ndamukon Suh was able to extract $60M guaranteed bucks from the Miami Dolphins.  I would have loved to have seen Richie Incognito bully Suh in the locker room but alas, Richie is headed to Western New York to play for the Bills. By the way, speaking of mercenaries, Suh took Miami’s $60M over Detroit’s guarantee of $58M.

Is Darrelle Revis coming back to the Jets? Sure, if they offer 1 more bottle of Baby Powder than the Patriots do. There are few players in any sport who have exploited the “system” better than Revis.  Play shutdown Corner, whine about your contract every single year, and get your way. Rinse, Lather (he’s playing at Gillette Stadium) Repeat.

And about those Jets, are they going to bring in any, you know-players who aren’t bi-polar? Brandon Marshall is great, but I’m betting Under 5 games as the psychotic breaking point for him before he goes all DSM-IV on Geno Smith.

New Jets GM
New Jets GM

New GM Angus MacGyer appears to have his sights on Brian Hoyer as the QB who can lead the Green guys out of their medicine cabinet wilderness once and for all. Hoyer may sign instead with MacGyver’s former team in Houston. But hey-you’ve got to be pumped about him aiming so high. Ryan Fitzpatrick could be the choice and if the Wonderlic test has demonstrated anything, it’s that the record 48 scored by Harvard’s Fitzpatrick hasn’t prevented him from throwing lots of balls to the other team. Lots.

The New York Football Giants whiffed on each and every one of their free agent targets so far. I’m not worried as I’m confident that Big Blue can miss the postseason again without splurging as they did a year ago. And wrapping up today’s lesson on being fiscally retarded…

After yesterday’s Spring Training thumping of the Mets by the Miami Marlins, it was reported that felonious team owner Fred Wilpon sat in Terry Collins‘ office for over an hour. It seems that Wilpon has some “concerns” about several areas of his team.  I don’t know where to start with this:

C'mon Terry, Don't Be Like that...I'm good for it!
C’mon Terry, Don’t Be Like that…I’m good for it!

A. He’s the douche who won’t/can’t spend a dime on better players.
B. He’s nearly 80, how does he sit for over an hour without having to pee?
C.Terry Collins has an office?

Come back tomorrow for a man who always needs to tinkle… Angry Ward.

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About Fake Sandy Alderson 175 Articles
Big Al Sternberg/Fake Sandy Alderson is from a not-so-nice part of Queens. But through grit and elbow-grease finds himself living on Long Island with his bride and twin 12-year-old sons. He is a sports encyclopedia... and a loose cannon. In fact, Michael Baron of blocked him on Twitter. You can find The Blocked One's Tweets here: @AldersonFake