BLACK ROCK, AR – We’re just shaking off the effects of tryptophan-overload, combined with watching boring NFL games played by teams wearing ridiculous uniforms, who are apparently catering to fans in Greece or Italy. Yet, while the soothing roar of the Black River in this sleepy little Arkansas town basking in the shadows of the [Danny] Ozark Mountains has us wanting to nothing but roll over and play “nappy,” we must rise and and answer this Black Friday call to arms – or keyboards – and present you something more than just leftovers from yesterday’s shoddy effort; The Best Sports Figures Named Black. Oh, and there’s irony in that Different Matt forgot today was his turn in the rotation and he can’t post now, as he’s off to play roller hockey in the Turkey Cup. And away we go…
Bud Black: Although Harry Ralston “Bud” Black is now thought of by some in Alaska, Colorado, Oregon, and Washington with an “wicked awesome” new cannabis, he’s actually a solid former solid southpaw who managed the crappy San Diego Padres. After failing as a Manager, getting reamed by both the Pahds and Nationals, he got booted… upstairs: He’s now in the front office of the Los Angeles Anaheim Angels of Orange County California. How did he get demoted-by-promotion? Take a whiff of the Angels funny-smelling corridors. This Bud’s for you, Anaheim.
Vic Black: Acquired from the Pittsburgh Pirates by the New York Metropolitans in return for Isaac Benjamin Davis – who we knew sucked from Día Uno – Victor Laurence Black is the fire-balling righty that has battled the injury bug and wildness his entire career. Even if he never throws another pitch, he proved his worth in that trade for simply getting that Sack of Suck, Ike, out of Flushing. Thank you, Vic.
Jordan Black: As crazy as this may sound, there haven’t been a whole lot of Blacks in the NFL’s history. In fact, there were only 18, with our guy Brian Jordan Black having the most longevity. This mountainous tackle played from 2004-2012 with the Chiefs, Texans, Jags and Skins. While he had a nice career, it’s stunning that JB is the best of Blacks in all of gridiron history.
Black Jack McDowell – Singer/Rock-n-Roller and ace Jack Burns McDowell was somebody we liked watching. And no, it had nothing to do with his firm calves. Pitching for the Chi Sox, Stanks, Injuns and Los Angeles Anaheim Angels of Orange County California, Black Jack was a card… and the 1993 Cy Young winner.
And there you have it. Look for our follow-up piece during Black History Month and come back tomorrow for Junoir Blaber, who is likely sound asleep on a public toilet right now.