BRONX, NY – As Brother Junoir Blaber said yesterday, baseball is in full swing… but there will be plenty of time to talk about that. The 2016 Presidential race is also in full swing- even in non-swing states – and since this contest is down to two teams (sorry, Bernie) let’s stick with it for a second. For those of you who know me, I’m not big on letting fly with the political opinions. But, being from New York, I just can’t help it sometimes when I hear people talk about how much they like Donald Trump. I can’t be more clear about this: If you are from the tri-state area and think Donald Trump is great, you have been living under a rock the last 30 years or so. You don’t like Hillary? Fine, I get it. You like Bernie Sanders? I get that too. But don’t use either of those things to influence your opinion on Trump. He’s a piece of sh!t. That said, there are some big sports names that like this big walking Cheez Doodle an awful lot. And here they are!
Bobby Knight. Trump credited the former Hoosiers basketball coach and Olympic chair-throwing champion for helping him win in Indiana. Knight, who makes The Great Santini look like Mahatma Gandhi. These two guys are actually made for each other, like Butch and Woim from The Little Rascals. I think that makes Chris Christie, Porky.
John Daly. He’s probably drunk. Let’s move on.
Jesse Ventura. The former governor of Minnesota, pro wrestler, and co-star of The Running Man, Ventura would “give very serious consideration” to being the Tangerine Tornado’s running mate, if asked. He would also give very serious consideration to refereeing a midget wrestling match or endorsing a disreputable used car dealership, if asked.
Dennis Rodman. Always a model of mental stability, Rodman would like nothing more than to be in the middle of a Trump/Kim Jong Un sandwich. Trump would undoubtedly welcome Rodman’s endorsement as yet another he could point to and say, “Oh, look at my African-American over here!” Interestingly enough Latrell Sprewell had tweeted in support of Trump, but clearly CHOKED and took it down.
Mike Ditka and Lou Holtz. Dementia and more Dementia.
A Crapload of Nascar Guys. This is not at all surprising. Trump’s blustery rhetoric plays big in the South, the same way the much more qualified Foghorn Leghorn’s did. I’ve been to the South on occasion. There are some wonderful people in the South. And I am here to tell those people that Donald Trump cares not a whit about you. He’s the awful Yankee stereotype you always heard about… times 100. He comes down to where you live to tell you about how he’s going to make things great again, all the while eyeballing your town as a location to build another golf course.
John Rocker. It takes one to know one… and love one.
Richie Incognito. Thinks that Trump will establish a real Bully Pulpit. I mean, literally. Incognito must be sure that there’s a cabinet position for him that would involve equal parts trash talk and torture.
Woody Johnson. That’s right, Jets fans, your dimwit owner has endorsed Donald Trump. If ever there were a Woody Johnson move, this is a Woody Johnson move. What a Woody Johnson.
The list goes on (Curt Schilling, Jack Nicklaus, George Brett) but I’m done.