Big Ben’s Hot Takes: Tom Brady’s Jersey Found, Dirk Nowitzki, Northwestern Hosed, Through Legs Lacrosse Shot

Bearded Dirk is the Best Dirk

DJ Eberle called in sick yesterday, so Hot Takes falls to me. I gotta have more Hot Takes! Let’s get to it.

Bearded Dirk is the Best Dirk

Tom Brady’s Jersey

Great news, the FBI tracked down Tom Brady’s Super Bowl jersey! Trump spared no expense in recovering the game worn memento. Said Trump most likely, “It was the least I could do for a supporter like Tom. Gutting Meals on Wheels was a small price to pay. Old and disabled people who can’t get their own food? Losers.

The jersey was found in Mexico. Added Trump I bet, “I knew it was either Mexico or Obama.

Dirk the Jerk (I’m just kidding, a good guy by all accounts)

Dirk Nowitzki recently became the sixth player to score 30,000 points. I was surprised to re-learn that Dirk was originally drafted by the T-Wolves, then traded to the Mavericks with Pat Garrity for Robert “Tractor” Traylor (RIP). Garrity was then sent to the Suns in a package for Steve Nash. Holy ravioli, what a freaking banner day for Don Nelson and the Mavs.

Vasectomy Business

I heard on the radio this morning that vasectomy business (there’s a phrase I never expected to use) booms during March Madness. Apparently, men choose this time of year so they can watch the games during recovery. Clinics even offer deals to lure men in. As a man with three-month old twins who has been told three times today that he looks tired, I can empathize with those opting for the snip. Still, I’ve decided to wait to get mine until the Jets are in the Superbowl… …Against the 49ers… Four years in a row.

Northwestern Gets Bounced

I haven’t paid much attention to the tourney, but I don’t feel badly for Villanova fans. Last year’s buzzer beating national championship should hold them for a while.

I do feel badly for Northwestern. The team was making a big comeback in their second round game when they got hosed on a non-call when a guy who put his hand through the rim to block a shot. That seems like a hard thing for refs to miss.

Yeah, Not Legal.

Chris Collins, the hotheaded coach and son of former hotheaded coach Doug Collins, ran onto to the court like a maniac. The resulting technical sucked the life out of the comeback, ending the Wildcats’ first ever tourney appearance. I know it was a bad call, but stay off the court man. This is the NCAA tournament, not your son’s t-ball game.

Between the Legs Lacrosse Goal

Lastly, why didn’t someone tell me ladies’ lacrosse involved these little short/skirt things? I now find it compelling. Check out play number 2 on the top 10 plays from Sunday – North Carolina attacker Sammy Jo Tracy with the creative between the legs goal.

Also, is it a thing to drop your stick like a mic drop after you score a sweet goal? I’m gonna try it when I score in my hockey game tonight.

That’s enough for today. Leave ’em wanting more, my Grandpappy used to say. Come back tomorrow for the original Hot Take, Angry Ward. Follow us on Twitter at @benwhit8 & @MeetTheMatts and like our Facebook page, Meet The Matts.

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About Ben Whitney 407 Articles
Ben Whitney comes from journalistic stock. Aside from his brothers, rumor has that his great-great grandfather was the youngest brother of Eli Whitney and covered the earliest "rounders" games. Big Ben is also another New York Rugby Club player/pal of Different Matt, Short Matt and Junoir Blaber. He likes film noir discussions, has twin girls and took up ice hockey after retiring from rugby.